Finding the Can in Cancer

Affirmation:  I find the can in cancer.

In 2007 Nancy Emerson, Susan Moonan, and Terri wrote, Finding the Can in Cancer.  They were a group of women who were influential in the early stages of what was then called, The Duke Cancer Patient Support Program.  Nancy Emerson was a woman with a mission.  Her mission was not to let cancer become her identity.  It was a part of her life’s quilt but not the primary thread.  She and her co-authors shared a vision of hope and presented a message of living life to the fullest, not sitting back and waiting to die.  They already knew what Jimmy Buffet sings about when he croons, “I want to die while I’m living than live while I’m dead.”

Recently cancer has been even more present in my life than usual.  My hubby was diagnosed with an aggressive-rare form of neck cancer (two words no one wants to hear when cancer is being described.) My dear traveling buddy also is presently undergoing treatment for breast cancer and my young, sweet neighbor is being treated for stage four lung cancer.  Along with them my friend, Dr. Carmen Wagner is also being treated for lung cancer.  

Carmen, is a brilliant business woman who has been involved with the health industry for most of her career.  She has decided to use her organizational skills to create a cancer support group here in Cary, North Carolina.  She too wants to focus on living life to the fullest  and gathering and sharing information that will help people be the healthiest they can possible be.  Her goal is to look at the whole person.  One cannot heal the body without addressing the issues of the mind and the spirit.  There’s a quote from the Mayo Clinic that says, “Three fourth of our patients are passing on the sickness of their minds and souls to their bodies.” How is that for a wake-up call? 

How many of us have the power to control our minds to overcome disease?  Even the holiest of holy die.  Life has a way of bringing us to our knees and maybe that’s one of the most important “tools” we can sharpen; our ability to connect to the Divine, our ability and desire to find The Holy and to fully understand that we are, “spiritual beings having a human experience.”  Perhaps, our greatest tool is to grow our faith in a power greater than ourselves, greater than anything we can even imagine.  A power that can create a galaxy and a flower, a human and a microcosm.  

After the initial diagnosis of cancer, what I found to be the second scariest event was the day I was released from treatment.  I know I am not alone.  I know too in many ways I was one of the lucky ones, to be released at all.  However, a few years back, Duke changed the name of the DCPSP to the Duke Supportive Care and Survivorship Clinic.  They finally recognized the need for cancer patients to receive care that addressed all the issues they had gone through during their treatment and perhaps with which they would continue to deal.  For example, people who had undergone the type of chemotherapy I had undergone, needed an Echocardiogram every five years.  I had been out of treatment (yes, luckily) for over 15 years and had never had an Echo!  There’s a thread of cancer that is always with you even after you’ve been told you are “cancer free.”  Ask any cancer survivor what come first to their minds when they have a headache, a backache or a shoulder pain?  These concerns and fears need to addressed and alleviated.  Education and support are essential to continued healing and that’s exactly what Carmen is focusing on, as is the Survivorship Clinic at Duke.  

The basic health care rules apply whether or not you’re in or out of cancer.  Exercise, eat healthy, get a good night’s sleep and stay connected to friends and family.  These are proven ways of maintaining optimal health.  The way you approach them really depends on the individual.  People go crazy trying to figure out the best approach to their diet.  In today’s world there are so many options and every one of them is touted as the “best” diet.”  You’ve seen them.  You’ve read about them.  I don’t have to list them.  The only way to know if they’re for you is to try one for a time and see how you feel and how your body responds.  It’s not an easy path.  What is good for one, really is not good for all. But is there any one thing that’s good to help cure the sickness of our minds and souls? 

It’s Lent, 2020 as I write this missive.  It’s one of my favorite times of the year.  It is a time to focus on prayer, fasting and alms giving according to the tradition of my Catholic faith.  It’s forty days to broaden our perspectives, to learn more about ourselves, to grow closer to our God and perhaps change our relationship to ourselves, the world and Our Lord. It’s really all up to us and our intentions and that, I believe is the cure.  Oh, you may not heal yourself of every ailment you have and yes, you will still die.  Let’s face it, no one gets out of this life alive.  We do, however, get to choose how we live.  We get to choose how we perceive what we are experiencing.  It’s one of God’s greatest gifts to us, this gift of freedom of will and thought.  Dr. Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen writes that sometimes in our pursuit of becoming whole, we still may not be cured but be assured, we will be healed.  

What choices can one make to assure they will be healed?  There are many just like a diet but two of the most important one can learn are to forgive and to love.  Don’t hold onto that hot coal of resentment expecting it to harm anyone other than yourself.  Do whatever it takes to heal your heart of hurt, anger and bitterness.  Write about it, paint about it, meditate on it, pray.  Don’t give up until you are whole once more, until that wound in your heart and soul has scared over.  It’s hard work but it’s so worth it and don’t expect it to happen like a one and done.  It may appear over and over.  You may need to make a conscious decision maybe many times before you find peace.  Forgiveness and love, the two cornerstones of a healthy, full, enriched life.  Truly, if your life is full of peace and love what else could you possibly want or need to live it to the fullest? 

 Dr. Wagner, The Duke Survivorship Clinic, and the Pink Ribbon Yoga Retreat that I have been leading for the last fifteen years all focus on finding the positive outlook in life.  We recognize the pain and challenge and then we choose to look for the, “can in cancer.”  It’s there.  It may take the help of others seen and unseen to discover it, but even in the most difficult of times, one can find a way to see the blessings. They are there in the faces of our loved ones, in the calls and cards from our friends and neighbors, in the prayers than encircle our whole being; mind, body and spirit.  May your cancer journey help you to see the “can”, the blessings and may they lift you up to a place of gratitude and possibility.   

Following Your Destiny

Affirmation:  I am following my destiny.

At 7:00 p.m. on September 9th of this year, 2014, at Barnes and Noble in Cary, NC., I'm going to have a book signing of my book, Creating PositiveAffirmations, Living an Intentional Life.  It's my first event of this type and I've been asking others for advice about what to say.  Most people tell me to explain why I wrote the book.  The book has developed from writing this blog, Creating Positive Affirmations.  Why did I begin writing a blog?  I didn't know how to blog and to be honest I'd never even read a blog but I understood the concept and I had found such strength and peace by creating my affirmations, I wanted others to have that same sense of well-being.  I began writing with the hope that I would make a positive difference in other lives.  I decided that even if my writing only helped one other person, I would consider it a success.

Have you ever had the seed of an idea that you nurtured and then saw it grow?  I believe we all have had the experience of getting an idea and wondering if it's worth investing in.  I'm sure there have been both good and bad ideas that people came up with and went ahead with.  Have you seen the movie or the play The Producers?  It revolves around two men whose idea it is to produce a flop of a play in order to keep all the investment money.  To them it seems like a great idea and they go to all sorts of lengths to make sure the play will not succeed.  They buy an offensive musical script about Hitler, hire a terrible actor to play the lead and get a group of inept performers for the chorus.  It's so bad, it's funny and it becomes an immediate success.  Now, they are in trouble.  It's one example of a bad idea.  Certainly, there are many other examples of bad idea especially those terrible ideas that injure another in any way.   

There are, however, many many examples of good ideas.  Have you see the car commercial when they show all the great businesses that began in a garage?  Amazon, Apple, Google, Disney, Hewlett Packard, Mattel and Harley Davidson are just a few, not to mention all the famous bands that began in garages.  I find it inspirational that some people are willing to listen to those inner urgings and follow through with creating something new and wonderful.   

I've had at least two obvious times in my life, other than when I chose to marry Sandy, when I followed that inner voice, or maybe God's voice and seen something wonderful come about.  The first of these was the creation of the Pink Ribbon Yoga Retreat.  At the time of this entry we are just finishing our tenth retreat, thirty four women breast cancer survivors attended for four days at the NC beach.  The seed of the idea was planted in me and it must have been meant to be because once it began to take root, it grew and grew until we now have this wonderful yearly event to benefit any woman who wants to come who has been treated for breast cancer.  It's been miraculous. 
 

The second time was when I kept writing this blog until I had enough entries to put together into a book.  I've listened to many people share their desire to write a book.  I never had that desire.  While I love to sit and journal, that's just for me.  It's my way of centering, clearing and focusing.  I don't concern myself with the grammar or the punctuation.  I just write.  I love the feel of the ball point pen on the paper and watching the miracle of the words appearing on the paper.  Writing for an audience was never part of my plan but here I sit   Sometimes there are things we are simply supposed to do.  I am supposed to write about affirmations.  I am supposed to share with others my failings and fears and challenges and how I've come to not just handle those imperfections, but how I am able to neutralize them or perhaps even turn them into blessings.  I consider myself to be a fairly normal average person and I believe if I can make myself better off because I've found a way to perceive life from a positive perspective, most people will also be able to accomplish that and if I can be of service to even one person and maybe to many more, then that's what I'm supposed to do and so I write. This is my 185th blog post.

I write with the hope that I lift the spirits and the hopes of anyone who chooses to take the time to read these pages, who chooses to read my book.  I write because I feel like it's my responsibility, my mission, my destiny.  I know I cannot cure the world but I can offer what I have learned about hope and about the the tools necessary to live a fuller, richer more blessed life.  May these words and stories do just that for you.  May they give you the gifts of peace and strength and make the world seem less onerous and more beautiful.  May these words empower you and may they help bring you to a place of serenity and hope. 

What Was I Thinking?

Affirmation:  I carefully choose my thoughts. 

 

This year's 2013 Pink Ribbon Yoga Retreat has just ended.  It was our 9th retreat.  You can gather more information about it from the web site, www.PinkRibbonYoga.org or you can find us on Facebook.  The retreat provides women breast cancer survivors with support, coping skills, and relaxation.  It is designed to be both nurturing and empowering.   What happens over four days and three nights?  Miracles happen. 

 

 

This year 29 people attended the retreat. We always take an intention to guide our planning and this year our intention for this year's retreat was "On Wings of Joy."  We borrowed a thousand paper cranes from the Duke Cancer Patient Support Program and hung them from the rafts and Nancy Soho, one of our committee members, created mobiles for everyone.  She hand folded 5 paper cranes for each one and then added a hand cut card from which they hung.  Along with Irene Talton, our gifted yoga-off-the-mat instructor, they crafted inspirational words on the top of each mobile.

 

We have a very specific format that the retreat follows.  It's proven to be extremely beneficial for creating a healing environment for each individual and for the group as a whole.  Over the years we've discovered that if we provide a single meaningful word for each person they are more comfortable speaking in our opening circle.  This year we used the words on the mobiles to initiate sharing.  We then left the mobiles hanging on the back of the chairs and reused them for our closing circle.  I think only one person got the same word for both circles and that was me.  It was "healing."

 

Healing is one of the miracles that take place during these four days.  I know because I always come away feeling healed.  I like to hope that it's a complete healing from all my ailments: mind, body and spirit but I don't know that for sure.  There certainly could be some rebellious cells floating around inside, although I hope not.  I do know, however, that I come away feeling rested, valued, calmer, centered, nurtured and empowered.  I know too that all those positive emotions can lead me, my body to a place of better physical health and even if I am not cured of all my ailments, I know I am healed.  There is a difference and I know I am not alone.  I know it because over the last nine years the women, who have participated in the retreat, have told me so.  It is true.

 

 

 

The very first thing we do when the retreat starts is to provide an atmosphere of safety.  We encourage everyone to respect the confidentiality of any sharing that takes place.  We ask that only one person speak at a time and that everyone else simply listen.  We ask that each person use the word "I", not the third person "you" or "we."  We let everyone know that sharing is optional and that silence is not only accepted but valued.  Before the next person begins speaking, the last person must declare that they are "complete." 

We tell everyone that this is their time, all four days and three nights.  We have all sorts of wonderful offerings but their first responsibly is to take care of themselves and so if they need to take a walk or a nap or to just have some quiet time, then that's what they should do.  Of course, if they want to do yoga on the beach, try creating a water color of spirit, participate in yoga dance, eat ice cream with the group, try the meditation sessions or experience laughing yoga, they are welcome to join in.  One other thing that quickly becomes apparent is the lack of judgment that permeates the event.  For at least a short while no one has to hide whatever might cause one to be embarrassed in the outside world.  With that, the women can simply be.  There is no striving, no pretending.  It's liberating.  It's another modality that promotes healing.

 

One of our traditions is to jump into the ocean after the early morning yoga.  There's something very magical about floating on the warm waves early in the day with a group of friends.  One morning I was quite tired and I thought maybe I'd skip the swim and just head back to breakfast but I wore my swimsuit just in case.  The yoga ended and several ladies headed towards the water.  I joined them.  As I floated over and through the gentle waves, I couldn't imagine what I had been thinking that would have kept me from this amazing experience and then I realized, I often find myself in really neat situations that I was initially hesitant to join.  Sometimes they involve big steps, like when I joined my daughter-in-law and traveled with her to Ecuador and other times, they're small steps, like jumping into the ocean.  Each time, however, I find myself wondering, "What was I thinking?"

 

Perhaps, if we paid close attention we'd discover that most of the time we're not very clear about what we really want or what will make us really happy or perhaps what our best choice is.  An example would be when we choose to have that second helping of something that tasted really good but which is not good for us.  How often have any of us done that and then shortly afterwards wondered, "What was I thinking?"  It would be wonderful to always be clear about our decisions, to always be mindful but it's a practice, a life-long practice.  We can only stay alert and be aware.

 

 

After the retreat is over I find myself asking that same question about having this idea of a yoga-beach retreat for women breast cancer survivors, "What was I thinking?"  What made me think it would become a reality?  Did I believe that it would turn into such a powerful, healing experience for so many people?  Where would the money come from so everyone could afford to attend?  Where would we find a place to stay?  Who would volunteer to be our teachers?  How would we advertise?  There were dozens of questions and challenges to making this a reality.  "What was I thinking?"  I was thinking this was a good idea and if I moved forward and it didn't happen, well at least I tried.  It's better to try and fail than to never try at all but it didn't fail.  It happened.  It happened and it has provided comfort and healing, support and respite to more people than I had ever imagined.  "What was I thinking?"  I don't really know what I was thinking but I do know I'm really glad and actually very proud that I was thinking at all. I'm thrilled that the retreat exists and that because of the work of so many wonderful people, we achieved the creation of such an amazing, awesome experience.  As of today it's been over a week since the retreat began and I am pleased to say I am still floating on the "wings of joy."

Claiming Your Power

Affirmation:  I stand in my power.

How many women do you know who would say they love themselves?  It seems to me, that most women have a lot of difficultly valuing themselves.  Most of the discussions I have with my female friends and women attendees at my workshops are about ways to increase our self-esteem especially as we grow older. 

The intention I set for my yoga practice and for when I teach any class is to “nurture and empower.”  I believe that a regular yoga practice is one of the tools that will help us develop and encourage us to deepen both of those qualities.  Some poses allow us to rest and let gravity hold us while we slowly release more deeply into the pose.  I feel that way when I do Pose of the Child.  In it you kneel down, sit back onto your heels, place your forehead on the floor and rest your arms, hands down, along side of your body.  As you breathe your whole back stretches open from the bottom of your spine up to the top.  Your legs and feet loosen up and your shoulders relax into the ground.  Of, course there is also Savasana, Corpse Pose.  It’s the last pose in most practices when the yogi lies flat out on his or her back, hands placed palms up next to one’s side and let’s gravity hold you while keeping the mind free of the clutter of life.  I always remind my students that this is a very important pose because as one of my mentors, Nancy Hannah, taught me “Mindful movement followed by stillness brings healing to the mind, body and spirit.”

But,  when I practice and when I teach, my mission is to also empower.  There are many poses which can encourage a sense of strength and power.  One of the poses that is frequently included in most practices is Virabhadrasana, Warrior Pose.  There are three Warrior Poses.  The tale surrounding these poses is that a young woman was deeply wounded by her father and decided to shed her body.  While in a meditative state her body burst into flames.  When her husband, the god Shiva, heard of her death he called on his fiercest warrior and named this warrior, Virabhadra,  Vira (hero) + Bhadra (friend).  He then ordered Virabhadra to go and revenge his wife’s death, which Virabhadra did.  Nowhere in the story does it say if the warrior is a man or a woman.  You get to choose. When you take a stance for Warrior I, you spread your legs apart, both feet pointing forward, the back foot a little turned out, you bend your front knee, face forward and raise your straight arms overhead.  You ground your feet and lift your torso. In Warrior II, you take the same basic stance, but you turn your torso to the side, place your arms in a tee position, palms down, and gaze out over the front hand. It looks like you’re preparing to throw a spear or a javelin.  In Warrior III, you stand on one leg and your other leg is stretched back and it and your torso and arms are parallel to the ground, like your about to swing out and kick something.  Practicing any one of these stances will elicit a feeling of power in mind, body and spirit. 

A diagnosis and treatment plan for cancer or some other life threatening illnesses, can be a very dis-empowering experience.  Many in the medical field in an attempt to help you save your life forget that you still need to be in charge.  They may need a reminder that you are more than willing to partner with them in your health care but you are not going to allow them to take over your whole life.  Claiming your power in this instance can be the difference between life and death.  If you have a feeling that the caregiver you are working with is not on your team, it is imperative that you resolve the conflict or find a new caregiver.  Follow your instincts and claim your power.  Before I began treatment for breast cancer I decided to practice my Virabhadrasana poses.  I decided I need to take a warrior stance in order to prepare myself for the cancer process.  I found a counselor with the Duke Cancer Patient Support Program.  I then gathered my troops about me and got all the information I could find about other steps people have successfully used to empower themselves through this experience; a nutritionist, an acupuncturist, a massage therapist, and most importantly, my prayer groups. I invited and allowed any friend who wanted to help me through cancer, to help me in anyway that suited them.  Truly, I entered into that first chemo session fully armed.  I had my family, doctors, nurses and technicians to guide the meds and treatment and I had prayers, information, mediation tapes and a USA Today crossword puzzle.  I was fully prepared for battle.

The first time I heard someone tell me they needed to “stand in their power” I knew immediately what she meant.  Sometimes it’s too easy to think small.  It’s too easy to feel small, to let things go unresolved so that someone’s feelings are not ruffled but that can become a habit that only diminishes our power and our spirit.  Years ago when I was a very young woman there were courses designed to help people become more assertive, not aggressive, they would stress, but assertive.  Mostly these courses were attended by women.  What decides wether or not a woman feels powerful or not or for that matter, how anyone feels about themselves?  I’m sure the first criteria is their childhood experiences.  Were they led to believe they were special, smart, gifted?  Were they encouraged to follow their hearts and their imagination or were they treated poorly or worse?  But, even after such spirit damaging treatment, many people go onto find their self worth. 

Steve Jobs founder of Apple, died in October of 2011.  He changed the face of IT and the way the world saw and used all sorts of technological equipment.  One of the stories about Steve Jobs is that as a child when confronted by another child about his adoption, he became very upset.  The other child asked him how it felt to know he was abandoned by his birth parents.  His adopted parents gave the perfect answer to his question of abandonment.  They explained to him that they had chosen him from all the other children in the world.  For most of us, that would be enough to help us feel better and to value ourselves.  Steve Jobs took it to a whole new level.  He said from that moment on he knew he was not abandoned, he was CHOSEN!

As women age in our society, traditionally their value is diminished.  Older women are not normally looked upon as favorably as older men.  Just look at our older actors versus our older actresses.  But, even if in America you don’t find a lot of older women in the movies, thank heavens for the Brits and Dames Maggie Smith, Helen Mirren and Judi Dench.  It seems to me that the values our society holds up as a reflection of “success” are normally male held values.  But, it is changing.  Women today seem to be able to stay true to themselves and still find worldly success.  But, let’s face it sadly, we still don’t have many women officially leading the countries of the world.  We have had, however, many women warriors who have led our society out of darkness and into the light: Mother Teresa, Eleanor Roosevelt, Susan B. Anthony, Rosa Parks, and Helen Keller to name just a few.  And, we do have many more women in professions that were once consider strictly male territory.  When I majored in mathematics in college, I was one of 5 women in a program of about 100 men.  No more!   We now have women leading the fields of medicine, science, law and politics.  But, perhaps, some of your heroines aren’t on this list.  What of our mothers, sisters, friends and mentors?  They may be the women you think of when you think of powerful, strong women. 

What if you believed that every thing you do, everything you say, every thought you have, has an influence on everyone else in the world?  Would you think of yourself as powerful?  I am here to tell you that is true!  Our simple presence in this world, affects everyone else and everything else that exists.  We are interwoven in ways we cannot even fathom.  There is a network of energy that runs from each of us to each other.  Therefore, we have a responsibility to value ourselves and each other.  We have a responsibility to claim our power.  We must all believe in ourselves, we must!  We must recognize and value our contributions, our existence. Men and women alike need to know without doubt that we have value, each of us, and it’s especially important to claim it as we age.  We need to recognize and take credit for the way we have made life better.  It will affect every aspect of our life and every person we encounter.  When you truly claim your power and let your light shine, you give permission to the rest of world to do the same. 

What do you think your life would be like if you believed that you are chosen?  What would it take for you to believe that you are powerful?  What tools can you use to insure that as you move forward you will know that simply because you are, you are important; you are a force with which to be reckoned.  One of the first tools is to stand up and tell yourself, “I am powerful!  I stand in my power!  I claim my power!”  Yes we are chosen, each and every one of us.  We have been chosen by the greatest Father of all time.  Claim your power.  Say it!  Write it!  Watch how your body responds.  An affirmation can feel strange at first but don’t give up, keep with it and one day if you’re not there already, you’ll be in a place where you find yourself standing tall, feeling strong and you’ll know without a doubt that you are valued, you are important, you are loved.

Miraculous Happenings

Affirmation: My life is Joy filled, Miracles occur, Love surrounds me and permeates every aspect of my existence.

We all know that in the classic Alice in Wonderland, Alice jumps down a rabbit hole into a whole other unknown, full of adventure, self-examining world.  Sometimes we are pushed down that hole and sometimes we choose to jump but either way, we get to decide what we'll learn and what we'll take away from our experiences.

After being treated for breast cancer in 1999, I was left feeling very unsure of what I should be doing for myself.  During the intense treatment, which for me lasted almost a year, I was well cared for and in constant contact with my doctors and other caregivers.  Then the day came when I was "released." I had had my last radiation treatment.  We, the family and I, actually threw an "end of radiation celebration." Sure, I was scheduled for follow up mammograms and yearly checkups but other than that I was on my own.  Yes, in many ways we are always "on our own" as we go through cancer but for me, being released, while a reason for celebration, was also very scary.  I began looking for those things that might help me feel supported, educated and uplifted.

As a long time yoga practitioner, I turned to the yoga world to see what might be out there.  It was in 2000 that I made my first trip to Kripalu Yoga Center in The Berkshires of Massachusetts.  It was there that I had the thought about creating a yoga retreat for breast cancer survivors.  I envisioned several days at the beach, yogaing, resting, swimming, talking, and breathing!  In 2005 the first Pink Ribbon Yoga Retreat for women breast cancer survivors became a reality.   My jump down the rabbit hole had taken me to one of the most amazing, fulfilling adventures of my life.

As of this writing here in 2012, a few hundred women have experienced all the things I envisioned and so much more than I ever imagined.  This retreat has been Spirit Driven and Divinely Blessed since its inception.  Have you ever been involved in something like this, something that takes on a life of its own, something that comes together and blossoms with a miraculous aura?

I have never approached an individual or an organization that has not generously agreed to help us in whatever way they could.  The first person to say yes was Rhonda Bailey, a yoga instructor and friend.  She set the standard for everyone else.  After that, with the support of The Duke Cancer Patient Support program, we were ready to go.  Our teachers generously volunteer their time and talent.  Our friends and family come forward every year to help defray the costs and to provide scholarships for those who are unable to pay. One woman took it upon herself to buy cushy beach towels for everyone.  We had homemade biscotti and pound cake.  A local ice-cream shop donated sundaes for everyone and one of our committee members made the supreme effort to go taste several of the flavors beforehand.  Every year we raise enough money with the efforts of my husband, Sandy, to help pay for anyone who wants to come on scholarship.  It’s phenomenal how it all comes together and it’s obvious to all of us there that the success of this event is beyond anything most of us have ever experienced.  It has to have the hand of God in it.

Who comes to a retreat like this?  Well, obviously, women who have experienced breast cancer.  (Although we have many people who want to come but don’t want to qualify to come.) But, really what type of individual attends an event like this?  I am here to tell you, they are amazing individuals.  They come from all over the country.  Most of the women have heard something about what goes on but it really is an unknown entity.  Many have never practiced yoga; many come without knowing anyone else.  Some are in the middle of treatment others have been out of treatment for years.  They don’t know what the accommodations are like, who their roommate may be or what the food is like but they come anyway.  They are the type of person who isn’t afraid to jump down the rabbit hole.  They are amazing, brave, adventurous human beings and when we gather we get to share the adventure.

The focus of the retreat, believe it or not, is not breast cancer.  Yes, we all have that in common and yes, the subject comes up and people share experiences and more often than not, they share what worked for them.  The focus of the retreat is living life to the fullest.  Each year, as in most yoga practices, we take an intention.  The first year the intention was that “it was a joyful experience for Everyone involved.”  One year we focused on an “Open Heart.”  We also took the intention to “Stay in the Moment.”  In 2008, our intention was to “Marvel in the Mystery.”

The retreat provides multiple healing modalities.  Besides yoga, which in itself is multi-dimensional; there’s the ocean, art-therapy, massage therapy, silent walks and Yoga Dance.  Some people relate to some and not to other modalities.  Other people need a little bit of all of them but either way they all lead to an increased sense of well-being and support. 

We begin and end the retreat with a Sharing Circle.  I’m sure there are many such rituals involved with other gatherings but I was introduced to this ritual at Kripalu.  There are many guidelines.  The first, of course, is confidentiality.  We go on to talk about using the “I” word, not the community “we.”  Only one person is allowed to speak at a time and it’s highly recommended that everyone actively listen and not plan what they might want to say.  In between each speaker we take a collective in breath and sigh it out.  We imagine clearing the psychic white board in the middle of the circle.  There are other suggestions but these are the main ones.  What happens during the circles? What happens during the four days?  Miracles occur.

Miracles, you say?  What is miraculous about ice-cream and beach towels and homemade goodies?  Well, for one thing they simply appear, like the manna in the dessert.  We never ask for these treasures.  But, what is really miraculous is what happens to the mind, body and spirit of each of the ladies and our one man (He’s the breast cancer counselor for the DCPSP.)  by the end of the four days.  A light comes on in each person.  There has been healing; there’s been a renewed sense of hope.  The women have found camaraderie and acceptance.  We have laughed, cried, played, swam, created, danced and done yoga.  We have found power, the power in each of us and as a group.  The event is laced with miracles especially the overwhelming feeling of love that permeates each person including me, as the retreat comes to a close.
 

If you’re interested in attending, you can look us up on PinkRibbonYoga.org.

Field of Dreams

Affirmation: “If I can imagine it, I can achieve it; if I can dream it, I can become it.”

“If you build it, they will come.”  Do you remember that phrase?  It was used in the movie Field of Dreams with Kevin Costner.  He was a farmer in Iowa who kept seeing the spirits of old baseball players in his corn field.  He decided to mow down his crop and build a baseball field for his spiritual visitors.  Most people thought he was crazy but he went ahead anyway and at the end of the movie, they show lines of cars coming to his farm to see, well, I guess they’re hoping to see what Kevin was seeing, the late, great baseball players.

Over the years, I’ve been fascinated by people who decide to build a field of dreams somewhere hoping, sometimes expecting, people to come.  One example of this is my fiddle teacher.  She's a marvelous teacher and a wonderful person. A few years back, she decided she’d sponsor a fiddle class at our local Senior Center.  Now, how many older adults do you think there are who want to learn to play the fiddle?  It didn’t seem to matter to Mara.  The center told her she needed to have at least 4 people for the class to happen.  Four people signed up.  Some weeks only one person was there and that didn’t matter to Mara.  She was always there.  It’s been about four years now that she’s been having her Thursday morning class.  Four years and every year there are more students attending.  This year, we are up to six fiddlers.  And, there’s little doubt that every year, there will be more and more of us.  

Another example of this is the water aerobics class at my mountain community.  We “lost” our instructor four years back.  So, one of our members offered to facilitate the class.  She’d never taught before but she’d taken a lot of water classes and it was her main form of exercise.  She has an issue or two with her back and she’s never injured herself in the water.  She’s been sponsoring this class every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning during the summer months for a few years now.  If no one comes, she exercises alone.  Initially, there were about six of us.  We couldn’t figure out why everyone wasn't there; it’s such a wonderful experience.  She's a marvelous teacher.  Now, three years later about fifteen people are attending.  She built the “field” in the water and people are definitely interested.

I know it’s true that people may not come to what you think is a good idea even if you’re willing to dedicate yourself to it.  At one point in our lives, my daughter and I opened a stationery store.  We had it for five years.  We were there every day except Sunday and we were knowledgeable and very responsive to our customer’s needs but during those five years, the popularity of the internet blossomed.  We found we were a great place in which people could actually see and touch the product that interested them but then they’d go home and buy it online from a large distributor.  Sometimes they actually brought it back to us if they weren’t satisfied or if they had made a mistake in ordering.  There was nothing we could do except to encourage them to order it from us.  We guaranteed all our work.  The internet sold our products for less retail than we could buy them wholesale.  By the time we closed the store, we had days when we wondered if we had forgotten to take down the “closed” sign.  But, if we hadn’t tried at all, we would have never known and we would have missed out on an experience that for the most part we really enjoyed.

When I decided to have a beach retreat for women breast cancer survivors (PinkRibbonYogaRetreat.org) I wasn’t sure anyone would come.  I had no idea if anyone else would be interested or if I could find people that would want to help.  At our first meeting a dozen people showed up and volunteered to help.  Our first year we had brochures and flyers that we distributed anywhere we could.  We had about 23 women attend.  In our eighth year we merely opened registration up online and we had 35 women register almost immediately.  That’s our maximum number, 35.  I wish we could take anyone who wants to come and so far that’s what we’ve been doing but this year, we had to close registration.  It made me sad but just like the fiddle class and the water aerobics, we had built our “field of dreams” and people are coming.  

Do you think that most successes are determined by sheer dedication and determination?  I often think of Thomas Alva Edison and the fact that it took him 12 years and 1000 tries to develop the light bulb.  How about Pistol Pete Maravich, one of the greatest basketball players of all time.  He never put the basketball down.  He slept with it.  He could spin it on his hand for over an hour without stopping.  Sister Mary Margaret of A Place for Women to Gather had a dream.  She was the first in her community to create a place for women to share their insight and knowledge.  As of 2012 A Place has been opened for ten years, serving hundreds of women in their quest for personal and spiritual growth.

My husband is one of my heroes.  His dedication and determination has led him to professional and personal success beyond that of most people.  We often find ourselves looking around at our life and being awed by the blessings we’ve reaped.  Blessings that came from hard work and integrity and a close connection with our God.  Sandy is now on his 3rd or 4th career.  I’ve lost count.  He’s become a motivational speaker.  He wrote a book called Humanity at Work; encouraging spirit, achievement and truth to flourish in the workplace.  And then he began building his “field.”  I was fascinated to watch him go about creating and pursuing his dream.  There is little doubt in my mind that the day will come when people will be lining up to hire him for their inspiration and education.  (You can find him at: www. SantoCosta.com.)  In fact, many people have already discovered him.

I am sure you too can think of many examples of “true dreams.”  Some may be of famous people, some may be those of friends and family. “If you build it, they will come.”  What about you?  What have you thought about creating?  What have you already created?  Do you have a dream you’re willing to commit to?   “If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.” (William Arthur Ward)