Saving the World

Affirmation: I believe that my prayer to help someone in need is always answered and is supported by God in amazing ways that I cannot even imagine.

In the book The End of Life Book Club by Will Shwalbe, he tells the story of his mother's life.  The story revolves around her battle with Pancreatic cancer and their journey through her treatment and as you can figure out from the title, her death.  They are a two person book club with either the advantage or disadvantage depending upon your view, of not having to provide food for the attendees.  There is a long list of books they read and discuss over the two year period of her treatment.  It appears they have always been a two person book club but didn't "officially" establish it until they were sharing her final challenge.  It's cleverly written in that with each book read, he not only writes about the book but about his mother's life.  I've made a list of each of the books with the intention of reading some of the ones they shared. Some of them I've already read.  I already know, however, that I'll be skipping some of his recommendations.  They are way too disturbing for my taste.  Just listening to the struggles of the protagonists on their reading list was enough to remind me of how cruel the world and fate can be.  He is a publisher at the beginning of the book.  His mother is an activist and a heroine.  She's in her seventies at the time of her diagnosis and has been a "first" for women in many fields and areas. For example, she was the founding director of the Women's Refugee Commission. 

She was an advocate for women and children refugees all over the world and she'd traveled to many of those areas. You can Google her or read the book if you'd like more information.  Her final project was to build a library in Afghanistan and she wasn't going to die until that was accomplished.  It was built.  I guess she was a lot like Angelina Jolie, just not a famous celebrity.  I also have the impression she didn't have the protection, guidance or ease of travel given to a famous movie star.  She was in the trenches with those who most needed help.  Mary Anne Schwalbe was a courageous and compassionate woman.  Her whole life regardless of the danger of difficulty, revolved around being of service to others.

This has been a good book for me.  I live a blessed life of comfort and the older I get the more I seem to gravitate towards being comfortable.  That includes an element of safety.  I have not traveled to "dangerous" places, at least as far as I believe.  I know sometimes going around the block can sometimes be dangerous.  I have, however, been working at seeing the broader, worldwide picture of those in need.  I know there are people suffering in ways I cannot even imagine and don't want to imagine.  My husband, Sandy and I sponsor several children in different programs around the world. We've always contributed to our church's appeals and those of nations who suffered natural disasters and we make every effort to reach out whenever we are directly faced with a need we can assist.   

Our church, St. Michael the Archangel, has a sister parish in Honduras and we support that and more recently we reached out to a charity in Tanzania presented to us by St. Bernadette Church in Linville, NC.  We've also supported Oie Ostercamp's Share Fish organization which does work with the poor in Honduras. Last year, after I read Fr. Albert Haas' Catching Fire, Becoming Flame in order to do something more, I added praying the Rosary for those "most in need of God's mercy."  It allowed me to stay safely in my comfort zone and yet to become more sensitive and aware of the world's plight.   I'm sharing these examples to illustrate that I've really tried to be more "world conscious."  I try to stay informed but not overly concerned because I feel I only have so much energy and some days just caring for myself and my family is all I feel I can do.  Let's face it, the world is a very big place and here I sit, one of billions of beings.  What kind of a difference can I make? Yet, when I read about people like Mary Anne Schwalbe, I wonder what more can I do?  What else can I add to my efforts that might bring comfort, peace, hope and even joy to those suffering on this planet?

Then recently, one of my study groups began Anthony DeStefano's, Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To.  One of the first prayers he offers is, "Please use me to help someone in need."  I hesitated.  My initial reaction was to back away.  I fully recognized this was a prayer God would not deny but what would be required of me in order to follow Her will?  Would I be asked to travel to a third world country undergoing revolution or that had just experienced a devastating weather event?  Would I be asked to give up all I now have, like the young man in the New Testament and follow God to poverty and perhaps martyrdom?  Perhaps even worse would be if more and more was added to my already full plate and in an effort to do be of greater service to the world, I became neglectful of where my true service lies, my family and my community.  I could immediately see all the pitfalls of such a prayer and yet, I felt ready to step out in faith.  I said the prayer.  I've been saying it now for several weeks and as I've journaled I found myself relaxing in the prayer, relaxing in my belief that if I'm called to do God's work, to be of more service to those in need, that God will provide the support to do just that.  I am stepping out in faith.  I believe that through prayer not only will I be of greater service but that I will be given the discernment to know which requests are from God and which are of my ego.  Deep breaths, quiet time and prayers from the depth of my heart will lead me where I am most needed.  Yes, it could be to some third world country.  I trust God will come with me there too.  It could also be to a place I haven't yet examined, a place within, which takes me to a marvelous place not so far from where I am now but enables me to see it in a different light, a light of service right here and right now. 

 

What do you think?  Are you willing to step out in faith?  Go ahead, say it, "God, please use me to help someone in need."  I hope you'll let me know what you discover.

God's Garmin

Affirmation: I am in awe of the guidance God sends me, through people as I travel down a new and difficult path.

What is needed in order to navigate through new territory?  Lewis and Clark, Columbus and Magellan and Dr. Livingston are a few examples of pioneers who headed out into the world without any foreknowledge of what lied ahead and created trails for others to follow.  There are now maps for most anywhere one wants to go.  There is even Google Earth, where we can examine almost every square foot of our planet without leaving our home. 

When my daughter, Ellen, moved to London I desperately wanted to see where she would be living but flying over there was not in our plans.  She sent me a video from Google Earth with her apartment circled in red.  I could then move the cursor around on the page and see everything she could see from her front window.  It was miraculous.  Since then I have occasionally gone to the site to see the areas where I resided when I was younger.  It was fascinating to see how the areas had changed and to share the photos of the neighborhood with my children or with my friends.

Yes, it seems as if the whole world is mapped out and we aren't in need of pioneers any longer.  Even the moon and Mars have "rovers" with cameras on them.  Of course there is the rest of the Universe "where no man has ever gone before."  I don't believe many of us will be faced with an adventure into outer space.  In addition to outer space, however, there are also the Olympics.  Right now, the 2014 Winter Olympics are taking place in Sochi Russia.  No one needed a map to get to Sochi and no one is following a geographical path that hasn't been carefully laid out but these gifted, dedicated and determined young people are definitely blazing new trails.  The new gold medal winner for the Men's Snow Boarding Half Pipe, Iouri Podladtchikov, not only performed an almost flawless run, he created and executed a new maneuver called the YOLO.  The men and women skiers and skaters broke all time speed records, and the Russian figure skating pairs gold medalists Tatiana Volosozhar and Maxim Trankov, the 2013 world champions, broke at least four world records with their performances.  There were also many other records set.  All the athletes needed guidance to reach the peak of their skill.  They went higher and further along the path of their craft than anyone had gone before.  Their coaches and families helped them lay out the map for their successes.

I've always loved a map.  Maybe it's because it's a little like a puzzle, a maze which can help get you to your set destination.  I've usually been the navigator when my husband and I traveled.  My expertise wasn't always in evidence.  For example, from my reading of the map, I once insisted we were are on the right road to reach the main highway when it dead-ended in someone's driveway.  At one time, I used to contact AAA for little map booklets that had a different section of the road on each page to lay out our path.  I'm sure they don't have them anymore. Now, my husband and I don't use maps at all.  First we graduated to Map-quest and would have sheets of paper listing the twists and turns and the distances and the estimated arrival time.   We even used Map-quest for one of our European trips.  It was a lot easier than trying to read maps in a foreign language.  Then we went to a Nuvi or a Garmin and we had audible turn by turn instructions.  I must say in the beginning it would seem to me the device would sometimes take me to my final destination by way of another continent.  Now, we have the smart phone. The technology now seems to be much more accurate and I can rely on it anywhere I travel.  I've also become so used to having a computer map on my dashboard that I feel "lost" when I'm in a car without one even if I'm going around my neighborhood. Recently, however, I have had to chart a new path. 

There wasn't a map or a Garmin for this journey.  My 91 year old mother left the hospital after her first two surgeries ever, a hip replacement and a pacemaker and was admitted to a rehab unit.  I needed a map or an audio guide.  I needed any direction and guidance that was available and there was very little "out there."  I did do some research on the web to determine the best facility in the area and I did make the necessary phone calls to make sure that's where she was admitted but after that I felt like I had just landed on an alien planet, not country, but a planet beyond our solar system.  I have never been so intimately involved in the care of a seriously ill individual, and to be honest my mom has led a very independent lifestyle up until her fall.  I wish someone wise and experienced had taken my hand and led me step by step down this road. 

I wish I knew in the beginning of this journey what I know now.  I've prayed for years for dignity for my mom and mother in law in their old age.  Now, I'm seeing what dignity can look like and may not look like.  After entering the rehab, mom contracted C.diff.  One more thing I knew nothing about, another huge detour on the road.  I've reached out to God and to everyone I know.  I actually sent an email to several of my communities that was titled "Help!"  Help has come and hopefully will keep coming.  Help not just for my mom but for me, the main caregiver.  Yes, I am seeing the blessings.  Some of the best help has been what I now consider to be "God's Garmin’s."  They are all those people in the know who have taken the time and effort to share with me what I need to be doing and in what direction I should be going. 

When Sandy and I traveled to Ireland several years ago, we found the most joyful part of the trip was getting lost because we would stop and ask an always delightful, friendly Irish man or woman for directions.  We stopped once on a back road and were invited in for tea!  That's been my experience here with my mom and her illness, the people who have reached out to me explaining the path best chosen have brought clarity and joy to a very frightening and strange road.  I've decided there is very seldom an easy way through chronic illness or the dying process but like all our adversities there are blessings to be found and usually, they come in the form of loving, caring people who take our hands and our hearts and lead us along the path of what we call life.  I like to think of them as God's Garmin, audibly directing us down the road to our final destination, Peace.

Searching for Service

Affirmation:  I pray daily for those who most need God's mercy and open myself to be of service to whomever She sends me. 

Pope Francis, Jorge Mario Bergoglio, has inspired the world.  He was elected pope in April of this year following the historic resignation of Pope Benedict XVI.  He didn't want to be Pope.  He didn't expect to become the Pope.  He had already purchased his return ticket for Argentina.  Immediately after his election all sorts of tales began appearing in the news.  It appears he is a very newsworthy person.  One of the first stories was about him paying the bill for his hotel room, himself and then taking a taxi back to where he needed to be.  Now, I've done those things many times in my life as I'm sure you may have, but no one ever thought it was of so much interest that they announced it in the media!  The behavior and words of Pope Francis have since been announced and scrutinized.  He is both applauded and criticized.  He is unlike most world leaders and yet he is subject to the same scrutiny as all of them.  He comes up short for some but it appears as of this date, he is mostly being hailed as a man of humility and wisdom, two qualities we all should strive to possess but which if possessed by our leaders make for a kinder, more compassionate society. 

This month Pope Francis was named Person of the Year by Time Magazine.  It appears the criteria for this acknowledgement is who Time believes has had the greatest impact on society during the year.  It is not always someone who has had a positive effect on our world. The opposite is true for Pope Francis.  They named him because of his philosophy or a better word would be theology.  His mission is to provide care and dignity for all human beings.  Mother Teresa also had that mission. It's what Jesus Christ's mission was when He walked on this earth and according to our Catholic tradition Pope Francis is His representative here, today.  He is the 266th pope and so far he has shown himself to be quite unique in his role as Pope.  There's been a photo circulating on the internet that shows Pope Francis in one half and Pope Benedict XVI in the other.  It says "Can you see the differences?"  Unlike the Sunday cartoon quiz which makes it difficult to pick out the different character, this "quiz" is very easy.  Pope Francis has abandoned the fancy trappings used by the pope's of the past.

The latest picture being circulated is of Pope Francis kissing the head of a severely disfigured man.  There's a rumor that he goes out into the slums of Italy and provides solace for the populace.  It is a fact that he did this when he was in Argentina, so it's not too farfetched to believe he's continued this practice.  His first encyclical addressed the distribution of wealth throughout the world.  He doesn't believe the system most countries, including ours works to the benefit of the neediest.  Conservatives who only focus on economics aren't very happy with the Pope's message but the Pope isn't concerned with their opinion.  He is only concerned with how society will respond to the needs of the most poor and the most suffering of us. Yes, I said us. 

In my daily reading Spiritual Insights the focus for the month of December is unity.  Each day I am reminded that we are all one.  Once you begin to believe that, you will recognize that if one of us is suffering we are responsible to find a way to alleviate that suffering and the world is suffering of this there is no doubt.  It takes very little awareness to recognize the distress of this world.  Sometimes when I hear some of the stories, I am completely overwhelmed by what's going on.  I am horrified by the cruelty.  I fully recognize that I don't even have a clue of the horrors that are taking place in our world even as I write this and to be honest, I really don't want to know the details.  I only know they exist and as the year has passed I have found myself called to step up and to be more aware of the poor and suffering and to reach out in a way that alleviates their suffering, perhaps even brings them joy and peace. 

It's the message I have been receiving these last few months.  It began before Pope Francis was even elected.  It has been here all along as all important messages are but I wasn't ready to fully embrace it.  I mean what can I do to help those most in need?  The second part of that question is, what will I be called on to do and am I ready and willing?  The clearest message came from Albert Haase's book Catching Fire Becoming Flame.  He says that focusing on Christ  "leads us right into the heart of a suffering, needy world where we are sent to respond lovingly to the unmet need or required duty of the present moment."  It is our mission in life.  It is our reason for existing, to make the world a kinder more compassionate place.

As my friend and I walked around the lake we talked about how we can help change the world.  It was a good walk!  What can we possibly do to aid in the conversion of hearts to bring them to a place of love and peace?  We can begin with ourselves.  The first place where the transformation must begin is within our own hearts.  Luke 1:68-79 says "Let there be peace on hearth and let it begin with me."  After that the soul is open to the flame of transformation.  If you take some time every day to connect to the Divine, you will be led to opportunities to ease the suffering of another, of others.  The opportunity is there.  There are so many ways to be of service if one is asking to receive them. 

A friend of mine once stopped to talk to a man who looked quite deranged and was obviously homeless.  She asked him how he was doing and engaged him in a very nice discussion.  The rest of us had walked past, quickly.  Afterwards I asked her why she had done that.  She told me she asked God every day to send people to her who were in need and to whom she could respond.  She told me she never knew where they would appear and she couldn't take the chance of passing someone by that might be an answer to her prayers.  Do you think her kind words made any difference?

A study that took place in NYC had two groups of people passing by pedestrians on a busy sidewalk.  One group would nod and smile at the stranger passing by them.  The other group would ignore the stranger.  The researchers then asked the stranger a few questions about how they were feeling.  (How they got someone in NYC to stop and chat with them was amazing to me but they did.) The people who were smiled at had a higher level of contentment than those who were ignored.  If just a simple smile from a stranger can add to the joy of this world, what a difference we can make if we are making an effort to ease the suffering and pain of whomever we meet and hopefully, whomever we are holding in our prayers. 

Trust me, just like my friend, once you ask God to allow you to be of service, opportunities will present themselves and once you open yourself up to caring about the marginalized and suffering of this world, not only will you make a difference in other's lives, you will make a difference in your life.  Your heart and this world will be transformed.

Blessings Recognized

Affirmation:  I recognize the blessings I receive when I share my time, treasure and talent with those in need.

On two occasions during this October, 2013, my husband, Sandy Costa was invited to be the Master of Ceremonies for the Ronald McDonald House of Durham, NC.  The events began at 7:45 AM and lasted an hour.  A full breakfast was served along with some of the most heartwarming and heart rendering stories I have ever heard.  For me, the stories that revolve around the struggle to live are always both inspirational and in many cases achingly sad.  This event revolves around the challenges being faced by children, little tiny ones and their families and the service, the hope and the comfort that this organization provides for them regardless of who they are or how much they have.  The Ronald McDonald House had set up these two breakfasts, among other events, to give others the opportunity to be of service to their residents and future residents.  They are giving people the opportunity to reach out and to make a difference in the lives of someone who is suffering, someone they probably do not even know.

The first event of the month was at The Tobacco Warehouse in Durham and about 400 people attended.  Sandy didn't really say much to me about his role and he's often invited to speak to groups, both large and small so I didn't pay a lot of attention to his project.  Sometimes he speaks for a fee but many times he speaks to simply be of service.  This, of course was an example of the later.  I was pleased for him that he was asked and to be given the opportunity but I didn't attend.  Actually, he didn't invite me and I wrote it off as simply another of his speaking engagements.  Wow, did I get that one wrong!

He invited me to the second event held in Raleigh at the NC State McKimmon Center.  A friend and pet therapy volunteer, Ann Henderson, asked me to sit with her group of invitees.  I was delighted to be included.  Ann brought Bailey, her wonderful warm friendly doggie.  The two of them also visit my mom once a week at my mom's assisted living apartment.  It is the highlight of my mom's week.  So I can imagine how much joy Ann and Bailey bring to the residents of The Ronald McDonald House.  They raised an amazing $260,000 during the one hour breakfast.  Why?

Sandy wasn't the only host.  He had a co-host, Sosa.  Sosa is thirteen.  She had on a black dress with silver sequins across the top.  She walked to that podium like she did it every day.  I was once told the second greatest fear after death is speaking into a microphone.  It was obvious Sosa had already conquered her 1st fear.  You can watch her at: Watch Sosa  She then started by apologizing for not wearing the red sneakers with the orange laces that she had been given, her Ronald McDonald sneakers.  "They really don't go with my outfit" she said.  Then she shared what it meant to her and her family to have a place, The Ronald McDonald House, to stay at while she was receiving her second bone marrow transplant.  Her mother had slept in their car for two months until space became available at "The House."

During the breakfast there were four other speakers, three sets of parents and Oie Osterkamp, the director of the Durham Ronald McDonald House.  There was also a video which showed the journey of another teenage girl.  I cried on and off throughout the entire program.  Who wouldn't?  Who can be among families who have undergone so much in an effort to make sure their child survives and not be emotionally moved?  Obviously, not many of us.  When Sandy finally made the plea for money the audience responded with generosity and caring.  The pledge card was not just for money.  It also included a section for visits and volunteers.  They accept any help they can get.  I have friends who shop for, purchase and cook one meal a month for the entire RMH in Greensboro, NC.  Time, treasure and talent were all greatly appreciated.

My experience has taught me that whenever I think I'm being magnanimous and generous to someone or to some cause, I discover that I am the receiver more than the giver.  It's a gift to me when someone invites me into their lives and permits me to be of service.  The book I'm now reading, Catching Fire, Becoming Flame says our first responsibility is to be of service to those who are less fortunate than we.  Discovering what our gifts are and how we can best help another is actually a responsibility.  We are called to service.  We are called to help and support one another.

If you watch the news we are led to believe we are not a caring species.  The media almost never reports on something uplifting and positive.  But, Sandy and I are involved in many different charities and we know people both of our church and of no church, who lead lives which epitomize the phrase "giving back."  It seems to me if we watch our fellow man and woman carefully we will see we are a caring, generous, even loving species.  We like to help others.  We like to make a positive difference in the lives of those around us, both those we know and in the case of these two breakfasts, in the lives of complete strangers.  We must be an amazing group of beings.  These two events, two one hour events raised over $400,000 and I am sure generated a lot of interest for volunteer opportunities.  Most people want to help others.  Sometimes it simply takes being presented with an opportunity.  These two events were a perfect example of creating an opportunity for people to feel good about themselves by sharing their bounty with others.  For me, the blessing was to be included in my husband's caring spirit.  Actually, one of my greatest blessings is that I am an integral part of Sandy's generous loving heart.