Not if, When

Affirmation:  I know life will present many challenges and I have a tool box filled with lots of helpful equipment.

 

The conversation was about the chaotic state of my home because of a renovation.  Oh, I fully recognized the blessing of being able to perform a renovation but the project had now been going on for months and was running much longer than had been estimated.

I was tired.  Way too much energy was being expended on this, not to mention money and I wanted to put my home back in order.  The homeowner I was speaking with had just completed building a house, not on her own but she was responsible for all of the decisions and it was a beautiful home, the most stunning home I could ever remember being in.  She explained to me that one shouldn't be asking themselves about the "ifs" one might experience during the building process but one should recognize that there would be "whens" and the real question was how was one going to deal with them?  What did one need to do to be prepared when issues would come along?

 

I am an optimist by choice.  When someone tells me something is going to go well and work out, I choose to believe them.  It's not always the truth.  Stuff still happens but I haven't focused on what might go wrong. I am that person who creates positive affirmations.  I am that person who expects things to go right. 

 

The Buddhists say one should imagine the glass broken.  The Christians refer to the "practice of faith" and the yogi studies a Klesha called raga which refers to an attachment to pleasure.  Whatever faith you look at they all have one very important feature in common; they recognize that life is not a bowl of cherries.  Life has pits and we should be aware of that teaching.

 

The question that arises is how does one prepare oneself for the difficulties life will present? Certainly going around waiting for the next shoe to drop or for the clouds to appear is not a very joyful way to live one's life but we all know stuff will come along, little things and difficult things with which we will have to deal.

 

I am someone who is all about maintenance.  I was a great Girl Scout.  I try to always be prepared.  If there is some step I can take to hopefully make life easier or smoother, I will usually take it.  I am that person who gets her flu shot every year.  I take my vitamins, especially that calcium and fish oil and now extra vitamin D.  I brush and floss my teeth twice a day.  God forbid they should rot away and fall out.  I exercise daily to keep everything in good working order and to hopefully avoid becoming immobile and decrepit. I am the person who buys travel insurance.  I'm not worried about any of these things.  I just feel like if I can take steps to insure my life goes along smoothly, I should.  I have many friends who do not think like me.  I have one friend who has never gotten a flu shot and as of this writing, has never gotten the flu.  Thank heavens!  I also have a friend who never does any maintenance on her home.  I am always looking around my house and trying to spiff it up before something drastic happens, like an exploding hot water heater or an ant infestation or, well you can probably add your own stuff to that list.

 

I have a huge red tool box.  I mean I need all those different type of screw drivers just in case the screw is a Phillips or a Flat-head or it's big or very tiny.  I know many of you completely understand but my friend, she never does anything to her home until it becomes some sort of an issue for her.  She cannot for the life of her understand why I am always doing my best to forestall something in the home from becoming a major investment.  I believe that if I take care of it now, it'll be a little problem rather than a huge one.  We just don't agree but that's ok.  We love one another anyway.  Unfortunately, the results of my maintenance approach to life really doesn't seem to make my life that much easier than her life is for her.  Things I never even dreamed would occur, occur.  So, the question is, "How can I best prepare for the whens of life?  What tools do I have in life's tool box for when a screw comes loose or falls out and everything it's been holding together, falls apart?"

 

Pray, it's my first defense.  I believe in answered prayer.  I don't understand how it works but I fully trust that it does.

Journal, I write. It centers me and helps me see things more clearly.  It makes me calmer.

Exercise, it is known to increase endorphins and reduce stress.  It doesn't matter if you go to your mat to do yoga or take a walk or go play golf.  It takes you out of your routine and helps calm you.

Talk to a friend or find a counselor.  Pick up the phone or go visit a friend.  Don't try to go it alone.  Most people like to be helpful and most of us need help to get through life's challenges, sometimes even the little ones.

Watch something funny, laugh.

Give or get a hug or two and finally, remember to Breathe.  Take a few deep breaths every so often and don't hesitate to sigh them out.  Even if you haven't fixed the entire problem with that deep breath, you've at least released it for that moment and life really is about living one moment at a time. 

Dancing for Life

Affirmation:  I smile early, laugh daily, dance often.

In most cultures dance is an integral part of life.  Here in the United States one must make a greater effort to find the opportunity to dance.  Lately in the media there’s more about dance than in the last fifty years. There’s Dancing with the Stars and there’s So You Think You Can Dance.  Even the 2012 Olympic Gold Medal winner, Ryan Lochte is interested in dancing.  When he was interviewed on Good Morning America he said he would like the opportunity to compete on Dancing with the Stars.  And, too, Hope Solo, the 2012 goalie of the Gold Medal Olympic soccer team competed in 2011 on Dancing with the Stars.  And, the Olympic Gold Medalist Apolo Ohno speed skating champion, danced his way to the Mirror Ball Trophy.

Now too, we have all sorts of dance exercise.  The gym I go to, Rex Wellness of Cary has had a Latin dance class for many years and of course there’s aerobics which usually has some sort of upbeat tunes.  As of this writing, Zumba has become very popular.  And, most yoga classes have music in the background.

Yoga is not normally thought of as a form of dance exercise but I have always felt the vibrations and the rhythm of the music as I practiced the asanas.  When I trained at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Healing we had several wonderful classes that included live drum music. The Dance Yoga concept (formerly Dance Kinetics) was actually developed at Kripalu. At the Pink Ribbon Yoga Retreat Saturday evenings are celebrated with Yoga Dance.

TJ Martin, one of our gifted yoga teachers and a founding member of the retreat, has led us in Yoga Dance for the last eight years.  Of course, there are many different reactions to our dance event.  Some, like myself, can’t wait.

In The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron asks you to imagine what you would like to do if you had several other lives.  It’s a fun exercise to see what you might be missing that you could actually do in this life.  I would have loved to be more actively involved in the world of dance.  There have been times in my life when the music led me to total abandonment.  I love going shopping with my granddaughter, Isabelle, because she’ll just smile if she sees me dancing about in the store, unlike my children, who I am sure were mortified by their mother’s lack of decorum. 

Many of the women who come to the retreat have been there before but everyone has had that initial introduction to our evening of Yoga Dance.   TJ does a marvelous job of explaining how the session is structured.  She explains that each of the songs are designed to open one of the seven chakras, energy centers of the body.  A yoga practice with or without dance can aid in opening the energy centers. The seven chakras begin at the base of the spine, the Root Chakra and run through the body to the top of the head, the Crown Chakra.  Envision a stream of energy or light, moving up through your body, flowing freely, keeping everything open and clean and soft.  Ancient yoga tradition teaches when the chakras are opened and aligned, we are balanced and in a state that encourages optimal health.

TJ brings some props too.  She brings feather boas and mesh scarves.  Some of the women bring coin skirts.  At our last retreat two of the returning ladies came to the evening session a little late.  They attempted to come in quietly so as to not disturb the group, the only issue was they had on their coin skirts and had added bell bracelets and anklets.  They also were in full flowing skirts and had silk flowers in their hair.  The fun had begun!

TJ begins our evening by inviting us to sit on our mats.  We move slowly at first.  One of the songs for the 1st chakra is Breathe.  Then she invites us to stand up and we move to songs like Feeling Good by Michael Buble. Then the energy begins to increase and for the 3rd chakra we get to dance to Shake Your Body and New Attitude for example.  The next set of songs include songs like We Are Family, Walk of Life, You Raise Me Up and Loka Samasta. Can you hear it?  Can you feel it?  Finally, we’re ready to wind down and we do that to songs like The Empty Sky.

Yoga dance is one of the healing modalities we offer for the retreat.  One year one of the participants did not seem to connect with anyone or anything that was being offered.  We would find her sitting in the living room watching TV while everyone else was chatting.  She wasn’t very interested in the art projects and her favorite yoga pose was savasana.  And, then during Yoga Dance we reached the songs for the 3rd chakra.    I happened to be directly across from her when the music began and it was one of the most astonishing things I have ever seen.  A grin came to her face, she lit up from within and she began to dance with total abandonment.  She didn’t stop until we were ready to lie down.  Her enthusiasm and love of music took her to a place during the retreat that nothing else was able to accomplish.  From then on, she was an integral part of the group.  People took the time to tell her how much they enjoyed watching her and dancing with her.

There have also been women who refused to dance.  I try not to judge but I wasn’t always successful.  But if they return, sooner or later (sometimes years later) something happens and I will look up and there they will be moving and smiling, and many times laughing.  It is so very joyful.  It is so very healing.

I believe we can enhance our health by sometimes tricking our bodies to think we are feeling good.  I once read a story about a man who played the music for silent films.  He was asked if it was hard to play music that went with the feelings of the scenes.  He answered he didn’t concern himself with that.  The music he chose created the emotions the viewers experienced.

If you’re sad and you don’t want to be, smile.  If you’re feeling blue and you don’t want to be, laugh.  And, if you want to fully embrace life and go a little crazy, turn on the music and dance.

“Dance as though no one is watching you,

Love as though you have never been hurt before,

Sing as though no one can hear you,

Live as though heaven is on earth.”  Dr. William W. Purkey