The Fabulous Female

Affirmation:  I treasure and celebrate my femininity.

I was in my late twenties when I read The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan.  I remember being stunned to find out there were other women who felt the same frustration I felt.  I was not alone.  I was already married and had one child and had left my teaching position and the only area of New York I had ever lived in and had followed my husband to a small town in upstate New York so that he could pursue his career.  It seemed like a logical move.  I had worked for a few years to help support our tiny family while he went to school and finished his pharmacy certification.  We now had a new baby and he had a new job and I was ready, I thought, for a new adventure.  I didn’t have a clue what I was getting myself into.  Oh my!  There I was in a new town and I knew no one, No One!  And, I had a new baby, I was unemployed, my husband left every morning for his job and it was snowing.  It snowed all the time, 110 inches on the average every year. 

It was the 70’s and the woman’s movement was in full bloom but I was off in my own little world wondering what the heck was going on in my life.  And then I met a few other women who were wondering the same thing and we began to talk about it and read about it.  Oh, we didn’t burn our bras or go out and picket the legislature but there was a growing sense of awareness about where we now found ourselves but that we never had before explored.  One of the elements of this self discovery was how many choices we now seem to have and also a certain sense that it wasn’t enough to be “only” a wife and mother.  This raised a lot of questions in my mind and also brought on a life-long struggle to find the best place for me to fully express myself; a place of balance between motherhood, wifedom and self-sufficiency.  I’m there now, 40 years later.  It’s been an interesting journey but finally, I’ve arrived. 

March 8^th of every year is International Woman’s Day.  March has now been officially declared International Woman’s Month.  I celebrated this year’s day with over one hundred other women and at least one man.  Sister Mary Margaret and Sister Judy from A Place for Women to Gather threw a party and what a wonderful event it was.  There were all ages, races, sizes and shapes and we had all come together to give thanks and praise for being a woman.  It was a reminder of our grace and beauty and also of the price so many brave men and women have paid for us to live the lives we are able to live today.  Oh, let’s never forget the cost of the freedom we have.  It wasn’t that long ago that even here in the United States women couldn’t vote, had limited availability to education, didn’t receive equal pay for equal work and weren’t valued for their contributions to society. 

This was a time to acknowledge and remember the abusive treatment of women that still exists in the world today.  It breaks my heart and makes my skin crawl when I read of and am told about the atrocities that so many women are subjected to in so many parts of the world.  And, don’t think because you may not live in a third world country that it isn’t going on in your part of the world.  It’s going on around the corner, down the street and maybe as close as next door.  But, as far as we need to go to eliminate such abuse is as far as we have come.  This month is our special time to create awareness and to celebrate our femininity.  Don’t forget the rights and privileges we have earned in such a short period of time and the price so many have paid to bring us to this place in time. 

In my study group one of the questions we asked ourselves was, “What other time and place would you have liked to live in and would you prefer to be a man or a woman?”  Think about it.  What is your answer?  We then had the opportunity to discuss what it was like to grow up as a woman in our families.  I am the oldest in my family and my father desperately wanted a son.  He didn’t get one until twelve years after I was born.  I remember his joy.  I was glad it took me so long to fully realize how important it was to him to sire a son.  Up until then, I simply felt like the favored child and for some reason I felt I could do anything.  But, societies restrictions were very heavy and I fell into the role somewhat expected of a young woman.  The saving grace was St. Agnes Academic High School for women.  The women there didn’t know about limits.  Many of my teachers had masters degrees and doctorates and many of my fellow students were looking at careers in medicine and government.  I remember looking around and wondering why I wasn’t pursing a college education and then, because of their examples, I did just that and without any help or guidance from anyone applied and was accepted to St. John’s University.  And, because I didn’t know any better, I applied to the Mathematics program.  There were five women in that program; five women and about fifty men.   

I’m a lucky woman, a very very lucky woman and I don’t want to forget it.  I am my own person.  I get to choose all things in my life, All Things.  I chose my path in life: educations, religion, spouse, career and my government officials, all because of the brave men and women who went before me.  And, now, it is up to us, all of us to pave the way for the rest of the women in the world.  What is the first step?

We must recognize and celebrate our gift of femininity.  We must bring that feminine energy and spirit fully into our world and into the world.  Claim your feminine power and beauty.  Embrace fully your precious wisdom and sensuality.  Know you are an amazing creation.  You can bring forth life for heaven’s sake!  You are a miracle.  Let all the earth shout with joy, “This is woman, honor her and love her.”