Not if, When

Affirmation:  I know life will present many challenges and I have a tool box filled with lots of helpful equipment.

 

The conversation was about the chaotic state of my home because of a renovation.  Oh, I fully recognized the blessing of being able to perform a renovation but the project had now been going on for months and was running much longer than had been estimated.

I was tired.  Way too much energy was being expended on this, not to mention money and I wanted to put my home back in order.  The homeowner I was speaking with had just completed building a house, not on her own but she was responsible for all of the decisions and it was a beautiful home, the most stunning home I could ever remember being in.  She explained to me that one shouldn't be asking themselves about the "ifs" one might experience during the building process but one should recognize that there would be "whens" and the real question was how was one going to deal with them?  What did one need to do to be prepared when issues would come along?

 

I am an optimist by choice.  When someone tells me something is going to go well and work out, I choose to believe them.  It's not always the truth.  Stuff still happens but I haven't focused on what might go wrong. I am that person who creates positive affirmations.  I am that person who expects things to go right. 

 

The Buddhists say one should imagine the glass broken.  The Christians refer to the "practice of faith" and the yogi studies a Klesha called raga which refers to an attachment to pleasure.  Whatever faith you look at they all have one very important feature in common; they recognize that life is not a bowl of cherries.  Life has pits and we should be aware of that teaching.

 

The question that arises is how does one prepare oneself for the difficulties life will present? Certainly going around waiting for the next shoe to drop or for the clouds to appear is not a very joyful way to live one's life but we all know stuff will come along, little things and difficult things with which we will have to deal.

 

I am someone who is all about maintenance.  I was a great Girl Scout.  I try to always be prepared.  If there is some step I can take to hopefully make life easier or smoother, I will usually take it.  I am that person who gets her flu shot every year.  I take my vitamins, especially that calcium and fish oil and now extra vitamin D.  I brush and floss my teeth twice a day.  God forbid they should rot away and fall out.  I exercise daily to keep everything in good working order and to hopefully avoid becoming immobile and decrepit. I am the person who buys travel insurance.  I'm not worried about any of these things.  I just feel like if I can take steps to insure my life goes along smoothly, I should.  I have many friends who do not think like me.  I have one friend who has never gotten a flu shot and as of this writing, has never gotten the flu.  Thank heavens!  I also have a friend who never does any maintenance on her home.  I am always looking around my house and trying to spiff it up before something drastic happens, like an exploding hot water heater or an ant infestation or, well you can probably add your own stuff to that list.

 

I have a huge red tool box.  I mean I need all those different type of screw drivers just in case the screw is a Phillips or a Flat-head or it's big or very tiny.  I know many of you completely understand but my friend, she never does anything to her home until it becomes some sort of an issue for her.  She cannot for the life of her understand why I am always doing my best to forestall something in the home from becoming a major investment.  I believe that if I take care of it now, it'll be a little problem rather than a huge one.  We just don't agree but that's ok.  We love one another anyway.  Unfortunately, the results of my maintenance approach to life really doesn't seem to make my life that much easier than her life is for her.  Things I never even dreamed would occur, occur.  So, the question is, "How can I best prepare for the whens of life?  What tools do I have in life's tool box for when a screw comes loose or falls out and everything it's been holding together, falls apart?"

 

Pray, it's my first defense.  I believe in answered prayer.  I don't understand how it works but I fully trust that it does.

Journal, I write. It centers me and helps me see things more clearly.  It makes me calmer.

Exercise, it is known to increase endorphins and reduce stress.  It doesn't matter if you go to your mat to do yoga or take a walk or go play golf.  It takes you out of your routine and helps calm you.

Talk to a friend or find a counselor.  Pick up the phone or go visit a friend.  Don't try to go it alone.  Most people like to be helpful and most of us need help to get through life's challenges, sometimes even the little ones.

Watch something funny, laugh.

Give or get a hug or two and finally, remember to Breathe.  Take a few deep breaths every so often and don't hesitate to sigh them out.  Even if you haven't fixed the entire problem with that deep breath, you've at least released it for that moment and life really is about living one moment at a time.