The Power of Prayer

Affirmation:  I pray unceasingly.

Do you believe that prayer makes a difference?  Do you have a theory about why it does or doesn’t work?  Have you ever “tested” your theory?  

The older I become, the more I pray; the more I value prayer.  One of the popular comedians said that’s very normal because as we age we realize we’re getting closer to death and we’re “hedging our bets.”  That could be true.  I also have more time to pray.  I don’t have to rush out every morning or get the children off to school.

I get to begin my day before I even rise with a prayer of thanksgiving and with the invitation to God to join me throughout my day & to bring blessings and favors on all those for whom I have promised to pray.  I pray for my spouse, my children and grand-children by name and then go on and list my siblings and their families.  Next, I include all my “dear, dear friends” and especially those who most need God’s mercy.”  I try to recall each of those special people by name who I know need extra prayers.  I can usually remember them.  If not, I do keep a prayer list.  After my friends I include all “the special intentions of those in my Small Christian Community.”  I then go on to add “all the support people in my life, seen and unseen and their loved ones.”  I so value all those people who make my life so much easier and richer because of their hard work.  I include our “fighting men and women and their families” and finally I pray for “wisdom for our world leaders and peace for this world.”  Then, it is time to rise.

Am I making a difference?  I’m making a difference in how I value those in my life and how I perceive them and the world.  I sometimes think this aspect is the most powerful effect of prayer; the change that takes place in me when I take the time and spend my energy to pray for others.  But, I believe prayer makes a difference in ways we cannot even fathom.  It is one of the most powerful tools available to us to tap into the Divine.  If we are spiritual beings having a human experience, why not connect with spirit and let that power work the miracles we are asking for in our lives?

According to Norman Vincent Peale in The Power of Positive Thinking, the whole world is made up of vibrations and prayer is one way to activate and send out positive vibrations to create change in the world.  Energy and how it can by directed and controlled has been written about to name just a few, by Eckhart Tolle and Gary Zukav.  That's what prayer is.  It's a form of energy.  Several years ago Duke Health did a study on prayer.  They had two groups prayed for by a variety of people from all different religious theologies.  The results of their study did not show any difference in the recovery of the patients.  But, I wonder what did change for those who were receiving the prayers?  Do you think it might have been something that wasn’t measurable like grace, peace, hope and other non-tangibles; things we all value and look for but for which there is no measurement?

Prayer changes lives.  The greatest challenge is believing in its power; believing that it really can have an effect on the situation.  The second challenge is believing that it will be a positive effect, even if it’s not the apparent answer for which we prayed.  Prayer and the belief in it and the ability to tap into the Divine do not remove our difficulties but it can make our difficulties, our challenges, easier to bear.  It can bring us a sense of peace and hope believing that there is a kind and loving Supreme Being who wants what’s best for us, especially if we’re willing to ask and then to listen. 

When we first moved to North Carolina I said a prayer that God would lead us to the best house and neighborhood for us.  And, then I asked for a "sign."  I asked for some sort of burning bush.  Yes, I was testing.  Well, we drove everywhere and I never saw that bush.  We finally settled on a lovely house in a new neighborhood and I let go of my search for the perfect place for us.  I actually loved our new home and our new neighbors, so all was good.  Several years later, we were taking my in-laws around showing them the area and we saw a beautiful house that was for sale.  We were able to tour it on the spot and I loved it!  Soon, we had sold our other house and moved into the new one.  One day, I was walking with someone who knew a lot about shrubs and he was telling me about the different bushes around the house.  I stopped dead when he pointed to the bushes at the bottom of the driveway and told me they were called Burning Bushes (Euonymus).  There were six of them!  Was that answered prayer?  As far as I was concerned it was. 

I don't go around testing God any longer.  I simply expect my prayers to be answered.  I know they are answered and I know they make a difference, a difference in my life and a difference in the world but I must remind myself that God's plan may not be my plan and that God's timing is something I will never be able to fathom. 

Fun!

Affirmation:  I have fun, fun!

My affirmation used to be, I have fun, fun, fun!  But I was actually having too much fun.  I could exhaust myself running from activity to activity, so I took off one of the “funs.”  This may seem like a silly, trite affirmation but this one developed from the advice and example of a very dear friend and fellow breast cancer survivor.  No matter what she was going through in her life she always focused on the fun; she focused on the upside of the challenges.  She is inspirational in the way she attacks her experiences with joy and hope. 

When I went for tests to prepare for chemotherapy treatments, I had a young male technician ask me why I was undergoing the tests and when I shared with him that I was beginning chemo on Wednesday for breast cancer he said, “Boy, I hope you’re doing something fun on Thursday.”  I can still hear his voice and remember my shocked response.  I was just getting ready.  I hadn’t really planned for anything afterwards.  To be honest, I was wondering if I’d even be able to get out of bed afterwards no less plan for something fun.  But, that one statement sent me on a remarkable journey.

What was it that brought me joy?  What did I like to do that was fun?  Well, I had a list but my favorite thing was to invite my friends to my home for lunch or dinner.  I’d have an after chemo luncheon!  With the help of a dear friend, we sent out invitations to all those people who had reached out to me when they heard about my diagnosis.  We invited them to lunch at my home and we invited them to bring a dish to share.  Yes, I had several calls and messages asking me if I were sure about this decision and a couple of people who told me I was crazy but I assured them that this was what I wanted to do.

Seventy five people showed up for what was to be the first of four after chemo luncheons.  I was not feeling my best, to put it mildly but I was having company and I needed to pull myself together and greet my guests and receive all the hugs and warm wishes they had brought with them.  It was a marvelous event!  I invited my yoga teacher to open with some pranayama (yogic breathing) and mediation.  At each luncheon someone shared a meditation or a story with the group and helped us bless the food and the gathering before we came together to eat and visit and celebrate the healing process that I was undergoing.  At the last three luncheons, I was bald and I was suffering some of the other effects of the treatments but it didn’t matter.  I was surrounded by all these amazing people who had taken their time and energy and had chosen to come support me during this major life challenge.

Very few men came to the luncheons, although they were always included in the invitations.  I can clearly recall the ones who chose to brave the onslaught of women attendees and step into a situation that is mostly female related.  One of them was my brother.  To my complete surprise he and his wife drove down from another state.  This is one of the many gifts I gave myself when I decided to share my journey and my life with those who had shown me love and concern. 

The question asked on that day of tests by that wonderful technician completely turned around my breast cancer treatment from scary and onerous to one that was nurturing and yes, fun!  If one can turn chemo and radiation into a fun experience, I think she or he may only need to put two “funs” into their affirmation.  In fact they may only need one “fun.” How many do you want in your affirmation?  What’s something you are facing with trepidation that you might be able to turn around by finding some aspect that you can call “fun?”

An Ethical Will

Affirmation:  I discern well between those actions that empower me versus those that enable me and direct my energies towards the former.

What are you leaving your family when you die?  Have you made out a will?  Have you written down who will get the silver, the house, and the many treasures you’ve collected over the years?  When we moved several years ago, we had an attic and in that attic were many treasures I was sure the “children” would one day want.  I had saved their baby furniture.  All three children used the same cradle and the same baby carriage.  All three children used the same layette set to come home from the hospital.  We also had a huge doll house that my son and I had built.  You know the kind; the kind that has a shingled roof and into which people put tiny furniture and lights and decorations.  It took us months to glue it all together.  We did it on our dining room table.  These are just a few of the treasure we had saved over the years.  Now, it was time to pass them onto the people we thought would want them.  Have you guessed their response?  They had no desire to own these items.  The baby furniture was outdated and not considered safe any longer.  The doll house was just too big for their tiny apartments or small homes.  The layette may have had a lot of sentimental meaning for me but they could have cared less about the outfit they wore home from the hospital.  Wow!  What a learning experience.  All those years of accumulating stuff, caring for stuff and now getting rid of that stuff.  What else have I, we, been collecting that no one is interested in? 

But, there must be something my family, my children and my grandchildren would like to have.  There must be something that I can leave them so they will remember me.  Perhaps the best I can leave them is what life lessons I have learned over these many generations.  What are they?  What are the most important things I have learned that I can leave for posterity?  What words do I want to use?  What sentiments do I want to write down?  What would your shared life lessons look like?

This is my “ethical will”, I write:  Love-love yourself and love others.  It’s our first responsibility-our #1 job.  Look for, discover and grow a belief in a Higher Power.  Find a way to trust that you can tap into God’s love and concern for you as an individual.  Know you are exactly where you are supposed to be at any given moment; practice being in the moment, being in the present.  Write down your priorities; use them to guide you in all your decisions-stay true to them and to yourself.  Write down your dreams.  There’s power in putting them on paper, energy is born and without struggle they will be manifested.  We are always manifesting, beware of your words and thoughts.  Focus on joy.  Focus on compassion and gratitude.  Find a way to see the blessings and benefits in everything that happens to you in life.  Say thank you, thank you, thank you.  Forgive, Forgive, Forgive-yourself and all others.  Smile, Laugh, Play & Dance!!

What does your “ethical will” look like?  Give it some thought and write it out.  It’s small.  It takes up very little space.  You won’t need an attic for it, just a drawer some place and it’s a gift that will benefit them far greater than any piece of old clothing or furniture. 

Manifesting the New Year

Affirmation:  I am always manifesting; I manifest to my highest and best.

The beginning of a new year can be filled with mixed feelings and expectations.  Many years ago the cartoon For Better or For Worse had a New Year’s Day cartoon of Elizabeth, the young daughter, opening her new calendar and exclaiming “I can’t wait to put down all the wonderful things that will happen.”  If I were to closely examine my reaction to a new year it would not necessarily be filled with the expectation of delightful events.  I find I must be very aware of the feeling of dread that can present itself as I look forward to the future especially if I am dealing with post Christmas let-down.  It takes a conscientious effort to turn my thinking around and to prepare myself for the delights that I am sure are waiting for me.  Once again, I am faced with the choice of Faith or Fear.

I truly believe we manifest our own realities.  I am always manifesting and I want to manifest to my highest and best.  I don’t like to leave the quality of my life to chance.  There are always things I can be working on that will enrich my life.  One of my practices of many years is to take time at the beginning of the new year and to decide what’s important to me and what I’d like to see manifest itself.  I do this by looking at the different aspects of my life and seeing what I want to emphasize and concentrate on.

I divide my life into several categories.  Certainly, you can choose any that might work for you but mine are:  Spiritual, Physical, Mental, Family & Friends, Material, Community and Financial.  I set intentions and create affirmations for each section.   

Spiritual:  For example, one of my intentions is to meditate daily. I write:  I meditate once a day for at least 20 minutes.  Another Spiritual desire is to increase my faith so I write:  I pray daily and I attend church weekly.  I participate in my Small Christian Community and look for other  opportunities to participate in events that will increase my faith.

Physical:   My intention here is to be of optimal health.  What steps do I need to take that will lead to that state?  I write:  I fine tune my diet by eating clean at least 80% of the time.  I look for fun ways to exercise.  I do some form of exercise daily. 

Mental:  I know I am either green and growing or ripe and rotten.  I read a wonderful news article about a 93 year old man who recently learned to read and write.  He then went on to publish a book.  That’s my intention; to be learning as long as I’m alive.  So I write:  I look for opportunities that help me grow.  I am studying the fiddle, Spanish and doing a crossword a day.  I am open to all learning opportunities: travel, classes, lectures, documentaries, and new people and experience. 

Family & Friends:  When it comes to my Family and Friends category, I usually focus on what I’d like the most if they were considering me and try to create that intention for themselves.  I would like more of their time and attention.  So I write:  I carve out a regular time to spend with each of my loved ones and look for opportunities when we can share experiences. 

Material:  I include the Material category because I feel we live in a material world and it needs to be addressed.  In the past I’ve focused on living in a different house or perhaps making the house I live in, different, lighter, brighter, more comfortable.  This year I write:  I only keep the things I love and use and let go of the rest. 

Community:  Community is essential to everyone’s well being.  I write:  I volunteer my time, treasure and talent to help those who are within my power to be of help to.  I focus my talents on projects that I know make a positive difference in the lives of others.  I enjoy sharing my home with my friends and family and look for opportunities to do so.

Financial:  I attract financial prosperity.  I look for opportunities that increase our income and that decrease our expenses. 

 I don’t review them regularly.  I have found that there is great power in simply writing out my intentions and then letting them marinate.  I usually review last year’s at the beginning of the New Year.  I am always fascinated by how many of the intentions have come to fruition; fascinated and grateful that I took the time to work on manifesting the year ahead.  What do you want your New Year to manifest?  Claim some time, give it some thought and put it on paper.  Fill in your calendar now before the year starts.  Fill it in with all the things you want it to hold:  joy, love, hope, peace, great health, adventure.  It’s yours; it’s waiting for you to claim it and to manifest it.