Childhood Limitations

Affirmation:  I let go of my childhood limitations.

How can one be over the age of 50, 60, 70 and still be restricted or controlled by emotions and concepts that influenced them as they were growing up?  How can one not?  I’m speaking about those emotions and concepts that deter us from true joy, that interfere with our ability to completely savor and embrace life.  And, is it even possible to release oneself, to become an adult in one’s own right?  Is it possible to grasp the positive qualities that serve us and our loved ones and let go of those, perhaps at least acknowledge and appreciate the experience but then let go of those concepts that are damaging us?

I am my mother’s main caregiver.  I am very blessed because at 90 she is still extremely healthy and independent.  There are three siblings.  My brother has been remarkable in his efforts to care for our mom even though he lives five hours away.  My sister is even further away and needs her energy to care for herself.  But, we know she is always there for us. 

I’m the oldest and mom chose to move near me over 15 years ago.  She made the move all by herself.  She likes to be independent and self sufficient.  It empowers her as it probably does most of us.  It also isolates her and makes my efforts to reach out confusing and extremely frustrating.

I feel like I am expected to support her in many ways but I’m simply suppose to figure it out myself, perform the act or acts, and then not let her know I did it.  I’m sure you can see the dilemma  My prayer for Mom is that she will continue to have joy and maintain dignity as she finishes out her life.  I only want to love her and enjoy her presence. I want to be the "good little girl" and make her happy.  I want to “fix” it.  I want to be her savior.  I want to take whatever steps needed to help her feel better, to make her happy.  I’m 65 years old and the child in my still wants to please my mother but I know, this is a fact, that no matter what or how much I do, I cannot please her long term.  I cannot make her happy.  Sister Mary Margaret from A Place for Women to Gather says, “Happiness is an inside job.”  There is only one person who can make us happy, us. 

That’s why I create affirmations.  It’s all up to me what I think, how I perceive life, how I feel.  I cannot remain the good little girl and live frustrated and sad because of anyone. I must let go of ALL my childhood limitations and embrace my own adult determination to create my own happiness.  Have you looked at your childhood limitations?  Are they interfering with the quality of your life?  Can you too release them?  Do you want to?