Perception

10/27/11

Affirmation:  I am valued.  I am worthy.  I do well.

Steve Jobs founder of Apple, died in October of 2011.  Two weeks later, a biography written by Walter Isaacson was released.  He was also interviewed on 60 Minutes.  Certainly, this was a unique man.  He changed the face of IT and the way the world saw and used all sorts of technological equipment.  From reading about and listening to stories about Mr. Jobs, it becomes very obvious that he thought very differently than most of the world.  A phase that has appeared quite often is “skewed reality.”  He saw things a certain way and his perception was his reality. 

I know that’s true for most of us but there are several lessons to take away from the story of his life.  Because he created his own reality, when he was told something could not be done, he didn’t believe it and so he found a way to get it done anyway.   That’s why we now have I Phones and I Pads and several other ingenious creations.  So, his “skewed reality” served him quite well in the business world but it didn’t serve him well in his personal life.  He refused to believe his girlfriend’s baby girl was his child.  It took 16 years and a paternity test before he’d acknowledge his child.  He also refused to believe he needed to be treated for pancreatic cancer in a timely fashion.  He was so sure he knew his body better than the physicians who specialized in this horrible disease that he chose to treat himself.  He was wrong.  Oh, I understand looking for alternative treatments for cancer but sometimes, we need expert advice.  We need it and we need to adhere to it if we are to truly take care of ourselves. 

One of the stories about Steve Jobs is that as a child when confronted by another child about his adoption, he became very upset.  The other child asked him how it felt to know he was abandoned by his birth parents.  His adopted parents gave the perfect answer to his question of abandonment.  They explained to him that they had chosen him from all the other children in the world.  For most of us, that would be enough to help us feel better and to value ourselves.  Steve Jobs took it to a whole new level.  He said from that moment on he knew he was not abandoned, he was CHOSEN.  Wow! 

What do you think you might have accomplished with your life if you believed from the moment you could reason, that you were chosen.  What do you think you’d feel like today, if you believed you are chosen?  It’s amazing to me that some people no matter how they’re told they are of value, they are loved, they are worthy, choose not to believe it.  It’s amazing to me that simply by changing the perception of a concept, we can change the way we respond to it.  Of course, we are chosen, each and every one of us.  We have been chosen by the greatest Father of all time. 

I watched on TV a young woman speak about her disastrous financial status because of an adjustable rate mortgage.  She was losing her “home.”  She was devastated.  Suzie Ormond spoke with her for a while and then explained to her that she had not lost her home.  She still had her three children with her and she still had her job.  She had lost her “house.”  Her home was wherever she and her children were.  It was like a light went on in this woman’s body.  Her whole demeanor changed within just a few minutes.  I know she was still facing a very sad and difficult situation, but it was so clear, that by seeing it in a different light, she was already feeling stronger, valuable and worthy.

What we choose to say to ourselves affects every aspect of our lives.  Certainly we need to do a reality check.  We can’t claim to be 6” taller when we know we aren’t growing anymore.  But, if our self talk is rational we can claim just about anything we want to.  We can claim to be joyful, peaceful, healthy, generous, kind, loving, prosperous, talented, accomplished, charismatic.  Find the words you want to claim for your life.  Find them, write them out and let them permeated every cell of your being.  Once day, you will look around and realize those words are you.  Choose carefully, dream large. 

The Daily Treasure

Affirmation:  This is the day the Lord has made, let me rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalm 119:24

When my husband, Sandy, speaks he reminds his audience that this day is a “once in a lifetime opportunity.”  Certainly I am aware of that but truth to tell, for me, it is a meditation.  I need to remind myself continually that all there is, is this present moment and that this is the only time I will have this day.  And then I heard it phrased another way. 

A woman I know was telling a story about trying to get ready for her bible study.  She was running late and her husband kept reminding her that she was going to be late.  He was concerned.  She said she finally said: “Honey, this is the only October 20^th, 20(  ) I will ever have in my life, ever!  You’re right, I am going to be late.”

When I woke the next day, I started my day with prayer and journaling, as I normally do.  At the top of my journal I always put the date.  That was the first day I fully wrote out the date.  Up until this time, I simply put the numbers but I didn’t do that.  I wrote it out and I repeated to myself: “This is the only October 21^st, 20(  ) I will ever have in my life.”  And then, I thought about my day, this “once in a lifetime opportunity.”  What did I want it to be like?  What did I want it to include, exclude?  How did I want to respond to it?  What was so important to me that I didn’t want to miss it?  I felt that by naming the day I was responding to it differently than I normally would.  It became more valuable.  I also found that every time I saw or wrote the date, I was reminded of its value.

We do value things that are rare, don’t we?  We place a greater value on rare works of art, antiquities and other treasures.  Well, this is a treasure rarer than anything we can put a price on.  It’s our life, our existence, our opportunity.  I’m sure that was what the psalmist was saying when he wrote “This is the day the Lord has made, let me rejoice and be glad in it.”  I just needed it phrased a little different to fully appreciate what I’d already been affirming for many years.

Childhood Limitations

Affirmation:  I let go of my childhood limitations.

How can one be over the age of 50, 60, 70 and still be restricted or controlled by emotions and concepts that influenced them as they were growing up?  How can one not?  I’m speaking about those emotions and concepts that deter us from true joy, that interfere with our ability to completely savor and embrace life.  And, is it even possible to release oneself, to become an adult in one’s own right?  Is it possible to grasp the positive qualities that serve us and our loved ones and let go of those, perhaps at least acknowledge and appreciate the experience but then let go of those concepts that are damaging us?

I am my mother’s main caregiver.  I am very blessed because at 90 she is still extremely healthy and independent.  There are three siblings.  My brother has been remarkable in his efforts to care for our mom even though he lives five hours away.  My sister is even further away and needs her energy to care for herself.  But, we know she is always there for us. 

I’m the oldest and mom chose to move near me over 15 years ago.  She made the move all by herself.  She likes to be independent and self sufficient.  It empowers her as it probably does most of us.  It also isolates her and makes my efforts to reach out confusing and extremely frustrating.

I feel like I am expected to support her in many ways but I’m simply suppose to figure it out myself, perform the act or acts, and then not let her know I did it.  I’m sure you can see the dilemma  My prayer for Mom is that she will continue to have joy and maintain dignity as she finishes out her life.  I only want to love her and enjoy her presence. I want to be the "good little girl" and make her happy.  I want to “fix” it.  I want to be her savior.  I want to take whatever steps needed to help her feel better, to make her happy.  I’m 65 years old and the child in my still wants to please my mother but I know, this is a fact, that no matter what or how much I do, I cannot please her long term.  I cannot make her happy.  Sister Mary Margaret from A Place for Women to Gather says, “Happiness is an inside job.”  There is only one person who can make us happy, us. 

That’s why I create affirmations.  It’s all up to me what I think, how I perceive life, how I feel.  I cannot remain the good little girl and live frustrated and sad because of anyone. I must let go of ALL my childhood limitations and embrace my own adult determination to create my own happiness.  Have you looked at your childhood limitations?  Are they interfering with the quality of your life?  Can you too release them?  Do you want to?

Kindness

Affirmation:  I am always manifesting.  I manifest to my highest and best.

Do you find it easier to like or to dislike people?  Which do you think more people lean towards, acceptance or rejection?  I happen to be someone who likes almost everyone from the first moment, unless something happens to reverse my opinion but there are peole who dislike almost everyone, unless something happens to reverse their opinion.

The latter must be a safer way to exist in this world.  Think of all the disappointment and hurt you’d av0id.  It’s like expecting to fail a test.  You know how that works.  You expect a failing grade and so you aren’t surprised you didn’t do well and pleased if you get even a “D”.  You are pleased with whatever comes along because your expectations were so low.  Do you want to get a “D” in life or worse yet, an “F”?  Does that add to your happiness or detract from it, always expecting so little from people, from life?

My husband says “Pessimists are right 100% of the time.”  I think they’re usually right and once in a while are shocked to discover they are not.  My affirmation is:  I am always manifesting.  I manifest to my highest and best.  Of course, the opposite is true too but how would that serve me; how does it serve the world or God to believe, to fall into the pits of despair and rejection?  I’m not speaking about clinical mental illness like depression or anxiety.  Those are maladies beyond the solo help of positive thinking.  I am speaking about the healthy individual who chooses to see the world and the people in it as less than creatures of extra ordinary beauty and grace.  Imagine if we embraced each other with love, dignity and grace.  Imagine if we gifted each other, those we easily love and those that are more challenging, as the glorious God created creatures they are?  Yes, we need to have healthy boundaries.  Most of us cannot take home, allow in, every person we encounter either physically or spiritually but we can grace everyone we see and meet today with a smile and a prayer for their well-being; a blessing that will bring kindness and ease to all those we encounter.  A blessing which will reflect off them and back onto us and create an energy in the world that just may bring some peace and harmony not only in our little piece of this earth but into the entire universe. 

It is easier to hate than to love.  Choose love, choose kindness, choose gentleness.  Manifest the light of God.  Make your world and the whole world a better place at least for today, and hopefully for every day afterwards.