Why I Believe

Affirmation:   I know by meditating on Jesus throughout my day, I am in union with the Divine; miracles are created and without struggle my life will be transformed in ways beyond my imagination.  Thank you, Loving Jesus, for entering into my heart and strengthening our connection.

Faith, what does that look like to you?  My husband says it’s “trust on steroids.”  It has also been said, the opposite of faith is not doubt but certainty.  I am not certain.  I have listened to others talk about their faith and their relationship with Jesus.  I have heard the stories of the “born again.”  Many times I am filled with envy and always with quite a few questions.  My faith journey has been slow and steady, climbing up, slipping down, ever hopeful that I don’t slip below my last starting place.

I have not found it easy to be faith filled.  I have to work at it every day.  Why do I work on it?  Why is it important to me?  How will it benefit me?  Will it benefit me?

I love to read and hear the sermons about God’s bountiful love and care for us, His children.  There are many preachers who see God as this entity that only wants what’s best for us.  And, they lead me to believe that His best is also my best.  There is where the difficulty lies.  Oh, yes, I would like to believe that.  I would like to believe that anything I prayed for would come to pass but I know that’s not true.  We don’t get everything we ask for, sometimes it seems like someone isn’t’ even out there.  Thankfully, sometimes we get something even better than we could have imagined.

So, why do I want to live a life of faith?  Is it to ensure that my afterlife will be comfortable, not the fires of hell?  Well, even that aspect isn’t guaranteed, is it? 

Today, as I journaled about this question, I decided the reason I want to be faith filled, meditating on Jesus throughout the day is that I believe God is with me.  I believe God never leaves me, if I ask Him to be with me.  It is I who comes and goes.  I believe that through my faith, I will be able to deal with whatever life throws at me.  And, that whatever that is, through faith, it will be miraculously transformed into something good, maybe something great, something beyond my wildest imagination.

I need to believe.  I have chosen to believe.  I have chosen the theology and doctrine that I grew up with.  It’s not perfect but it enables me to live life with less fear and anxiety than I could without it.  For today, this is my faith.  This is why I believe.