Following Your Destiny

Affirmation:  I am following my destiny.

At 7:00 p.m. on September 9th of this year, 2014, at Barnes and Noble in Cary, NC., I'm going to have a book signing of my book, Creating PositiveAffirmations, Living an Intentional Life.  It's my first event of this type and I've been asking others for advice about what to say.  Most people tell me to explain why I wrote the book.  The book has developed from writing this blog, Creating Positive Affirmations.  Why did I begin writing a blog?  I didn't know how to blog and to be honest I'd never even read a blog but I understood the concept and I had found such strength and peace by creating my affirmations, I wanted others to have that same sense of well-being.  I began writing with the hope that I would make a positive difference in other lives.  I decided that even if my writing only helped one other person, I would consider it a success.

Have you ever had the seed of an idea that you nurtured and then saw it grow?  I believe we all have had the experience of getting an idea and wondering if it's worth investing in.  I'm sure there have been both good and bad ideas that people came up with and went ahead with.  Have you seen the movie or the play The Producers?  It revolves around two men whose idea it is to produce a flop of a play in order to keep all the investment money.  To them it seems like a great idea and they go to all sorts of lengths to make sure the play will not succeed.  They buy an offensive musical script about Hitler, hire a terrible actor to play the lead and get a group of inept performers for the chorus.  It's so bad, it's funny and it becomes an immediate success.  Now, they are in trouble.  It's one example of a bad idea.  Certainly, there are many other examples of bad idea especially those terrible ideas that injure another in any way.   

There are, however, many many examples of good ideas.  Have you see the car commercial when they show all the great businesses that began in a garage?  Amazon, Apple, Google, Disney, Hewlett Packard, Mattel and Harley Davidson are just a few, not to mention all the famous bands that began in garages.  I find it inspirational that some people are willing to listen to those inner urgings and follow through with creating something new and wonderful.   

I've had at least two obvious times in my life, other than when I chose to marry Sandy, when I followed that inner voice, or maybe God's voice and seen something wonderful come about.  The first of these was the creation of the Pink Ribbon Yoga Retreat.  At the time of this entry we are just finishing our tenth retreat, thirty four women breast cancer survivors attended for four days at the NC beach.  The seed of the idea was planted in me and it must have been meant to be because once it began to take root, it grew and grew until we now have this wonderful yearly event to benefit any woman who wants to come who has been treated for breast cancer.  It's been miraculous. 
 

The second time was when I kept writing this blog until I had enough entries to put together into a book.  I've listened to many people share their desire to write a book.  I never had that desire.  While I love to sit and journal, that's just for me.  It's my way of centering, clearing and focusing.  I don't concern myself with the grammar or the punctuation.  I just write.  I love the feel of the ball point pen on the paper and watching the miracle of the words appearing on the paper.  Writing for an audience was never part of my plan but here I sit   Sometimes there are things we are simply supposed to do.  I am supposed to write about affirmations.  I am supposed to share with others my failings and fears and challenges and how I've come to not just handle those imperfections, but how I am able to neutralize them or perhaps even turn them into blessings.  I consider myself to be a fairly normal average person and I believe if I can make myself better off because I've found a way to perceive life from a positive perspective, most people will also be able to accomplish that and if I can be of service to even one person and maybe to many more, then that's what I'm supposed to do and so I write. This is my 185th blog post.

I write with the hope that I lift the spirits and the hopes of anyone who chooses to take the time to read these pages, who chooses to read my book.  I write because I feel like it's my responsibility, my mission, my destiny.  I know I cannot cure the world but I can offer what I have learned about hope and about the the tools necessary to live a fuller, richer more blessed life.  May these words and stories do just that for you.  May they give you the gifts of peace and strength and make the world seem less onerous and more beautiful.  May these words empower you and may they help bring you to a place of serenity and hope. 

Book Signing Event

Being Worthy

Affirmation: I am worthy.

What determines the worthiness of a human being?  In 1997 the movie Gattica came out staring Ethan Hawke.  It was a sci-fi film about genetically altering the human fetus towards a specific occupation.  A child who was born without this alteration was considered "imperfect" or "inferior" and that human was deigned useful only for menial jobs.  Ethan was one of those children born without the advantage of the sophisticated science of the time.  He was not happy with his pre-determined role and the movie revolves around what he needs to do to give the illusion of being one of the perfect people.  As we all know, the science fiction of today has often become the reality of tomorrow.  With genetic testing widely available and with the mapping of the Gnome, the theme of Gattica may not be too far removed from the very near future. 

When I've facilitated programs about creating affirmations people are encouraged to create phrases that do not have any negatives in them.  A few years back, however, I had one person who had had a very difficult childhood and she decided she was going to use "not" in her affirmation because it was the best phrase to help her feel better and so she did.  Most of the time when we use a negative in an affirmation, our brains ignore the negative and we wind up doing or feeling exactly the opposite of what we had intended. She decided she did NOT need to do anything more or be anyone other than who she was to be of value.  When she shared her affirmation it was obvious to everyone present that it was going to have a powerful impact for her even with the word "not" as part of it.

Recently I was involved in an activity that was more than humbling.  I was actually embarrassed by what I perceived as my poor performance.  (If you've been following this blog you can probably guess what I was doing.) I then became annoyed with myself for judging myself so harshly.  For me this was another experience that made me wonder, what determines the value of a human being? 

When someone is asked, "What do you do?" the answer generally generates a visceral response in both the questioned and the questioner.  Have you watched the physical response of both parties as this question is presented, have you observed yourself?  I've seen the persons being asked sometimes "puff-up", stand taller, perhaps their shoulders go back.  I've watched some people slump over, maybe step back as if they're preparing for battle.  Then there's the person's response when the answer is given.  For example, if the answer is, "I'm a brain surgeon" most people would probably have a different response than if the answer was, "I'm a trash collector."  We generally judge and many times value an individual based on what they "do." 

I am fascinated by society's value determination of occupations.  As far as I'm concerned if people were financially rewarded for their services based on how they benefit society, sports persons would not be making millions of dollars while teachers eek out a living.  Movie stars would not be some of the richest people in our country while those who care for the sick and elderly barely make minimum wage. 

Where am I going with this?  I want everyone to feel valued simply because they are a human being.  My friend was right.  We don't need to do anything more or be anybody special to be worthy.  We need to value each person simply because they are a creation of God.  If we don't do that it would mean that the sick, the infirm, the elderly, the mentally ill are of no value.  It will mean that someday society will allow science to genetically alter or design a human being and those that don't come out "perfect" will be relegated to a subservient place or even worse destroyed.

My faith, the Catholic Church, promotes the sanctity of life from the womb to the tomb.  I know this is not a popular concept and I understand how people because of dire circumstances sometimes want to be in charge of who lives and who dies and when, but it seems to me it's a slippery slope towards devaluing the human being and life itself. 

Several years ago I was invited by a dear friend, Ann Baucom, to join her and a group of women in developing a personal "charter of compassion."  I came up with six steps: Pray, Embrace Silence, Listen for God's voice, Affirm what is important to me, Release it into God's care, and Love, non-judgmentally, non-graspingly and unconditionally.  When I shared this charter with a friend, she thought it was too self-centered and not enough other-centered but I feel I can't affect any change in the world until I change myself. 

Each human being is a masterpiece, no matter what the flaws.  The flaws can add color, depth and texture.  We are each a precious treasure and with that concept we should know that we are worthy; worthy of respect, worthy of love, worthy of all the good and prosperity of a Divine creation.  Once we believe in ourselves, we will posses the wherewithal to give back to the world.

We can be of service by simply knowing God is always with us and She is leading us and guiding us.  If we are listening we will do it with love and honor and compassion.  We are of service if daily we rise with the intention to bless the world in our thoughts and words and deeds. We can impact the world regardless of what we do or, are unable to do if we simply hold our fellow man or woman in our thoughts with blessings and love. I am a perfect being created by a loving God regardless of what I do or don't do and so are you!

Living an Intentional Life

Affirmation:  Everyday I get to choose how I want to perceive my life experience.

Mo Martin won the Women's British Open at Royal Birkdale in England this July, 2014.  When she was interviewed she mentioned her "intention" was to win the tournament.  At the time she was ranked 99th on the tour and it appeared no one had her listed as a potential champion.  She ended her win and her final hole with an eagle, which means she had three shots on a hole on which a good golfer would normally have five shots. 

As of this writing, I am lucky enough to be in the mountains of North Carolina and once again I find myself playing golf.  If you follow this blog you know that golf is not one of my gifts.  It's something at which I have to work very hard in order to play somewhat decently and to tell the truth, I only work on it for the few weeks I'm up in the mountains.  I do, however, love the sport.  I share the time with my husband, Sandy.  He's an amazing golfer and many times my son, Joey, is with us.  Sometimes his beautiful wife, Belen, comes along.  It's beautiful up here and the course we get to play on looks like a post card.  It's so exhilarating when I actually hit that little ball and it soars away down the fairway towards the pin.  I love it when I putt the ball and it rolls along and plops in the hole.  I actually love to watch someone else make a long difficult putt. It almost seems surreal to me to finally have that tiny ball fall into that tiny spot on this huge expanse of lawn.  I think a big part of the excitement for me is that I'm so surprised and delighted when things actually go better than I even imagined.  I don't intend to have a low expectation of my performance but after years of playing I have come to recognize that I will probably remain a below average player unless I decide to play more than just the month of July.  However, I always set an intention to do well, for me, and to enjoy the day.   

The first time I heard the phase "take an intention" was at a yoga class many years ago.  The teacher did not provide any other guidance.  She simply told us to "take an intention for your practice" and then left us to figure it out.  I remember it clearly.  The word "gratitude" popped into my mind and so I embraced it and let it sit with me for the hour.  Interestingly it didn't leave me at the end.  I found it was with me as I went into the day and here I sit many years later still embracing gratitude, every day.  When I teach I always follow that same example.  I encourage everyone to chant an "ohm" and to bring their palm together in front of their heart and with their thumbs touching their heart I say "Take an intention for this time you're giving yourself.   Any word that comes to mind is fine."  And then at the end of our practice, we repeat the chant and I remind the participants to recall the intention they took at the beginning of class and encourage them to take it with them into their day, and perhaps into their lives. 

That simple instruction so many years ago has had a very powerful impact on my life.  I found myself taking an intention each morning for the day.  As I journal and pray in the morning, I wait to see what word or words come to my awareness and I let them sit with me as I finish my quiet time and then bring them with me into my day.  It's very seldom that something doesn't come to the surface.  If not, I just let go for the day.  I decided also that I might as well take an intention for each year.  I only began this two years ago but it's been a wonderful gift to give myself.  You may remember that my intention for 2014 is to, "connect to the Divine."  It's been quite a journey so far and I'm looking forward to what the rest of the year will present. 

When I listened to Mo Martin's interview, I found her expression of intent to be of interest.  I assume she's a yogini.  Maybe yes, maybe no, but yogini or not, she has a remarkable attitude.  She "took an intention" to win!  Yeah, Mo!  Go girl!  Why not?  She set herself up for success.  She knew it was possible she wouldn't win but once she set that intention, she recognized that she could very well achieve her goal.  She also said even when she wasn't playing well, when she wasn't winning, she still woke up everyday with a smile and a sense of excitement about being able to play. 

By living an intentional life it means you've given thought to what you want your life to look like.  I would imagine if you're reading this you already are someone who is choosing how to live your life but don't assume that's how most of the world lives.  Unfortunately, many people are faced with such dire challenges they don't have the energy to focus on choice. Others simply have chosen not to choose but to let life and fate just play itself out. Once you begin "taking an intention" you may find your day and therefore you life takes on a richness that makes you feel like a winner no matter what challenge life presents or at the very least, you wake up each morning, like Mo, with a smile on your face and a sense of excitement about being able to play, the game of life.

Living Life Intentionally – How To Improve Your Life with Intentional Choices

Host Lea Strickland talks with Jean Costa breast cancer survivor, mother, wife and author of the new book Creating Positive Affirmations, Living an Intentional Life.

http://leastrickland.com/living-life-intentionally-show-30/#.U78MoiMEF-w.email

Saving the World

Affirmation: I believe that my prayer to help someone in need is always answered and is supported by God in amazing ways that I cannot even imagine.

In the book The End of Life Book Club by Will Shwalbe, he tells the story of his mother's life.  The story revolves around her battle with Pancreatic cancer and their journey through her treatment and as you can figure out from the title, her death.  They are a two person book club with either the advantage or disadvantage depending upon your view, of not having to provide food for the attendees.  There is a long list of books they read and discuss over the two year period of her treatment.  It appears they have always been a two person book club but didn't "officially" establish it until they were sharing her final challenge.  It's cleverly written in that with each book read, he not only writes about the book but about his mother's life.  I've made a list of each of the books with the intention of reading some of the ones they shared. Some of them I've already read.  I already know, however, that I'll be skipping some of his recommendations.  They are way too disturbing for my taste.  Just listening to the struggles of the protagonists on their reading list was enough to remind me of how cruel the world and fate can be.  He is a publisher at the beginning of the book.  His mother is an activist and a heroine.  She's in her seventies at the time of her diagnosis and has been a "first" for women in many fields and areas. For example, she was the founding director of the Women's Refugee Commission. 

She was an advocate for women and children refugees all over the world and she'd traveled to many of those areas. You can Google her or read the book if you'd like more information.  Her final project was to build a library in Afghanistan and she wasn't going to die until that was accomplished.  It was built.  I guess she was a lot like Angelina Jolie, just not a famous celebrity.  I also have the impression she didn't have the protection, guidance or ease of travel given to a famous movie star.  She was in the trenches with those who most needed help.  Mary Anne Schwalbe was a courageous and compassionate woman.  Her whole life regardless of the danger of difficulty, revolved around being of service to others.

This has been a good book for me.  I live a blessed life of comfort and the older I get the more I seem to gravitate towards being comfortable.  That includes an element of safety.  I have not traveled to "dangerous" places, at least as far as I believe.  I know sometimes going around the block can sometimes be dangerous.  I have, however, been working at seeing the broader, worldwide picture of those in need.  I know there are people suffering in ways I cannot even imagine and don't want to imagine.  My husband, Sandy and I sponsor several children in different programs around the world. We've always contributed to our church's appeals and those of nations who suffered natural disasters and we make every effort to reach out whenever we are directly faced with a need we can assist.   

Our church, St. Michael the Archangel, has a sister parish in Honduras and we support that and more recently we reached out to a charity in Tanzania presented to us by St. Bernadette Church in Linville, NC.  We've also supported Oie Ostercamp's Share Fish organization which does work with the poor in Honduras. Last year, after I read Fr. Albert Haas' Catching Fire, Becoming Flame in order to do something more, I added praying the Rosary for those "most in need of God's mercy."  It allowed me to stay safely in my comfort zone and yet to become more sensitive and aware of the world's plight.   I'm sharing these examples to illustrate that I've really tried to be more "world conscious."  I try to stay informed but not overly concerned because I feel I only have so much energy and some days just caring for myself and my family is all I feel I can do.  Let's face it, the world is a very big place and here I sit, one of billions of beings.  What kind of a difference can I make? Yet, when I read about people like Mary Anne Schwalbe, I wonder what more can I do?  What else can I add to my efforts that might bring comfort, peace, hope and even joy to those suffering on this planet?

Then recently, one of my study groups began Anthony DeStefano's, Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To.  One of the first prayers he offers is, "Please use me to help someone in need."  I hesitated.  My initial reaction was to back away.  I fully recognized this was a prayer God would not deny but what would be required of me in order to follow Her will?  Would I be asked to travel to a third world country undergoing revolution or that had just experienced a devastating weather event?  Would I be asked to give up all I now have, like the young man in the New Testament and follow God to poverty and perhaps martyrdom?  Perhaps even worse would be if more and more was added to my already full plate and in an effort to do be of greater service to the world, I became neglectful of where my true service lies, my family and my community.  I could immediately see all the pitfalls of such a prayer and yet, I felt ready to step out in faith.  I said the prayer.  I've been saying it now for several weeks and as I've journaled I found myself relaxing in the prayer, relaxing in my belief that if I'm called to do God's work, to be of more service to those in need, that God will provide the support to do just that.  I am stepping out in faith.  I believe that through prayer not only will I be of greater service but that I will be given the discernment to know which requests are from God and which are of my ego.  Deep breaths, quiet time and prayers from the depth of my heart will lead me where I am most needed.  Yes, it could be to some third world country.  I trust God will come with me there too.  It could also be to a place I haven't yet examined, a place within, which takes me to a marvelous place not so far from where I am now but enables me to see it in a different light, a light of service right here and right now. 

 

What do you think?  Are you willing to step out in faith?  Go ahead, say it, "God, please use me to help someone in need."  I hope you'll let me know what you discover.