A Secret Ingredient

Affirmation: Even when I am doing little things of service, I include a large amount of love.

What's your favorite food?  Everyone has a favorite.  It's a great question to start a conversation or to open a group discussion because it seems as if most people have an immediate answer.  My favorite food has always been my mother's chocolate chip cookies.  Her cookies were probably the reason I could never lose those extra five pounds I've always wanted to lose.  She's told me it's simply the recipe on the back of the Toll House Chocolate Chip package but I don't believe her.  I think there's a secret ingredient, perhaps one of which she's not even aware.  It's a mystery!  I'm not the only one who loved her chocolate chip cookies.  They were a favorite for the whole family, especially my son Joey.  For years she baked him a special batch.  "Those are only for Joey."  I think he was one of her favorite grandsons.  Recently, I've had other people tell me she baked special batches of cookies for them too.  "She told me, these were only for me."

I have many friends who like to bake.  It's a gift to be a baker.  It runs in our family.  My mother passed on her love and skill to both my youngest daughter, Ellen, my sister's daughter, Samantha and to my brother's daughter, Stacy.  The food doesn't just taste good but it looks yummy. I was stunned when during one of my visits to Ellen; she asked me if I'd like to see her journal.  I couldn't even imagine where this offer was leading.  Was she going to confess some deep dark secret or worse yet have one of those mother-daughter "come to Jesus" conversations?  Then she pulled out her baking journal.  It was beautiful. She had all the recipes she'd been trying and the adjustments recorded to make them more to her liking and photos of the cookies and cakes.  I was honored to have her share her passion with me. 

It seems to me the thing about baking is that most bakers want to share their treats with their friends, family and whomever they think would enjoy them.  I watched my mom and I've watched other bakers go about giving away their cookies to whomever they wanted to grace. It didn't need to be a special occasion.  It might just be because someone needed a pick-me-up or perhaps it was a way to say "thank you."  My mom would give her yummy cookies to the hair dresser, the auto mechanic, the nurse and doctors she frequented, to an ailing friend or perhaps to her friend's caregiver.  They were always warmly and graciously received.  Many times our Christmas presents to her were fancy "cookie" boxes with her initials on them or several cookie tins with varying designs.  She even began saving some of the small used plastic containers from the grocery so she could package up just two or three cookies and present them.  I envy people who like to bake.  I too would like to be seen as a warm, generous person who says "thank you" with a tangible yummy treat but, I don't like to bake, especially cookies.  So, I wondered what I could share in a similar manner.

I've decided there is no substitute.  There is nothing as heartwarming as a homemade treat.  Let's face it even if you're not eating sugar or can't eat sugar, the gift still warms your heart.  You know someone really cares and they've taken the time and the energy necessary to let you know.  Perhaps sharing food in any way brings those same warm feelings.  I've been to many events where people showed up with food as a form of love and support.  My experience of living in the Midwest and now here in the South affirms that belief.  If someone has a tragedy or is going through a difficult time, people bring meals.  During my many months of cancer treatment we were supported with some of the best meals I've ever eaten and on the flip side, I've dropped off meals whenever the opportunity presented itself.  I usually make dinner and include some sort of chocolate candy.  I don't bake.  I do, however, make every effort to be affable and caring on a daily basis. 

As I go through my day, I readily share a smile.  I have found it uplifts not only my spirits but usually the recipient too.  I'm an avid hugger.  I learned that skill from my husband, Sandy and my mother-in-law, Yolanda.  I know not everyone wants to be hugged.  If I'm not sure I open my arms and hesitate.  It's usually fairly obvious if it's not welcomed.  That doesn't happen very often.  I love to send snail-mail birthday cards with a blessing over them and a few loving words inside.  I know these small gestures do not hold a candle to a good chocolate chip cookie but it's my way of letting people know they are loved; they are an important part of my life.  I value them and their relationship. 

My mom, Margaret Grolimund, passed away this week.  We included in her obituary the fact that she was famous for her chocolate chip cookies.  When I spoke to the presided of her Requiem Mass, Father Doug Reed, I shared her notoriety and he wanted to know her recipe.  I told him what she said that it was simply the recipe on the back of the Toll House Chocolate Chip package.  I, however, knew she was not sharing the secret ingredient.  Now, I know why.  I don't think she was aware of it.  It was magical!  Her secret ingredient was her love.  She made those cookies, cakes and pies with a heart filled with love.  We all show love in different ways.  This was my Mom's way and she did it marvelously. Love is the secret ingredient in every special gift we share with another.  It's that one thing that tells someone, "These are only for you." I love you.