Weakness

Affirmation:   I avoid all thoughts that weaken me. 

I am an optimist by birth.  I have a dear friend who is a yoga teacher like me and is involved with the planning of the Pink Ribbon Yoga Retreat.  We’ve not only done the yearly four day beach retreat but we have presented several day retreats.  Our concern is always the same. “Is the space big enough to hold all the people who will want to attend?”  We laugh at ourselves now, because the space has always been big enough and it has always been the perfect space.  My experience has been that when things are done with the right intention and lifted up to a Higher Power for their blessing, they usually not only turn out well, but better than you ever dreamed possible. 

Another example of this in my life is when my eldest daughter married.  This is her second marriage.  She is a remarkable woman and has weathered situations no one should have to experience.  But, she experienced them with grace and dignity.  She was unmarried with two small children and her father and I prayed daily that her life would be abundantly blessed.  We never prayed that she’d remarry, unless that was her plan and what she wanted.  We wanted whatever she wanted and that was our prayer.  She did meet someone, a wonderful man with two terrific teenage boys.  (I bet you wondered if there is such a thing.  I am here to tell you, there is.)  They form a marvelous blended family.  If her father and I had prayed for a man for her to marry and a family for her to love, we could not have imagined a situation as blessed as the one she now has. 

But, it is true, I sometimes obsess.  I get caught up in thoughts that repeat themselves over and over.  And, normally they are not thoughts that empower or lift me up.  They can be doom and gloom or questions to which I have no answer and may never have an answer.  That’s when I reroute my thoughts.  Prayer is usually the first step even if it’s a single word.  It turns off the thoughts and turns me around back to those things that are important to me and those thoughts that empower and do uplift. 

When I’m obsessing, I call upon; I avoid all thoughts that weaken me.  It helps to remind me of how I want to perceive the world, at least my world.  I don’t have space for things that deplete my energy.  One of my goals in life is optimal health and that definitely begins with how and what I am thinking.

Manifesting

Affirmation:  I am always manifesting.  I manifest to my highest and best.

What we think about, we bring about.  What we concentrate on, we draw towards us or are drawn towards.  I think of the story about the father teaching his son to drive.  Up ahead is a bolder and the father is very concerned that the boy will run into it.  He repeats over and over, “Watch out for that bolder!”  What do you think happens?  Of course, the boy hits the bolder.  How could he possible miss it?  It’s the one thing that’s being pointed to over and again.

We do the same thing in life and so many times, it’s about something negative.  I was with a person once who kept telling me how much trouble she was to her husband.  The man seemed genuinely crazy about her but she kept telling him over and over, how difficult a person she was with whom to live.  I could only imagine how long it would take him to start to believe it.  And, then what would happen?  Would he stay around or would the ground be prepared with the negative comments to grow something she had believed would happen all along?

I participate in the Pink Ribbon Yoga Retreat (.org) every year.  I facilitate it and am one of the yoga teachers.  Our first year in 2005, one of our yoga teachers kept repeating that she didn’t feel skilled enough to teach cancer patients.  She was an extremely gifted teacher and she taught a wonderful gently yoga, a type of yoga very appropriate for cancer survivors.  When the evaluations came in there was one (out of about 20) that mentioned one of the teachers seemed uncomfortable in her teaching skills.  Did she manifest that? 

That’s not to say we manifest everything, although there are some who would disagree with me on that point.  What about you?  I am a breast cancer survivor.  I never dreamed I would get breast cancer.  Now, I have been diagnosed as pre-diabetic, pre-high cholesterol and with osteopeni.  I don’t know who they are talking about because to look at me, you’d never guess I was dealing with any of those issues.  And, just last month, an eye doctor diagnosed me with some sort of condition that exists in only 10% of the population.  I know, I hadn’t manifested that ailment.  I didn’t even know it existed.  And, I know I’m not the only one who has received surprises throughout their lives.

I did however manifest the life I am now living.  I feel blessed beyond belief.  My life is full of love and joy.  My days are rich with people to nurture and who nurture me.  I wake up to a world of beauty and richness.  My faith is continuing to grow.  Even though I have these physical challenges, I still feel like I am strong and healthy.  I think it’s because one of my affirmations is:  This terrific body is Powerful, Strong and Balanced.   

It is a puzzle isn’t it?  I know we manifest our own reality.  I know it!  I also know, life throws things at us we never even dreamed of, both blessings and challenges but why take the chance to manifest those things we don’t’ want to deal with, they may come along anyway.   Why not make the effort to believe in the concept that we can create our destiny?  Why not go for the moon?  Maybe then if you fall, it will be into the stars and not flat faced down into the mud. 

Affability

Affirmation:   I accept people as they are and celebrate their relationships with me.

I like people.  When I’ve taken the Meyers Briggs Personality Test, I come out evenly between the introvert and the extrovert.  The test doesn’t tell you how well you relate to people, but whether or not you get energy from being with people or being alone.  The goal is to find a middle ground.  For me, I need some of both and the challenge can be finding that balance. 

I remember when I was in graduate school getting my Masters in Social Work.  My very first course was taught by a dynamite young woman.  She was so energetic and knowledgeable.  It was a fun and interesting course.  She came in one day and it was immediately noticeable to me that she was not her usual self.  She went on to teach the class.  It was a three hour class.  As the class progressed, she seemed to be feeling better.  Her energy level seemed to be rising and she seemed to be enjoying the process more and more.  When the class ended, I took the time to chat with her and I asked her how she was feeling.  She told me she felt great but that when she had first arrived for the class, she had a migraine headache.  Teaching the class had helped her eliminate the headache.

I, too, am a migraine sufferer.  I’ve had a few “doozies.”  I can tell you, standing in front of a classroom for three hours and teaching would not be the way for me to eradicate a headache.  I need medication and I need a dark, quiet room.  I decided there and then, this woman was getting her energy in a very different way than I was.  She’s probably a high level extrovert.  Wouldn’t you agree?

I work very hard at staying connected to my family and friends.  I know how important it is for my psychological and physical well being.  It’s easier sometimes than others.  I seem to be able to putter around the house forever.  I love a day when I have nothing scheduled and I get to go about town doing my errands and perhaps stopping somewhere fun for a quiet lunch and an opportunity to people watch.    

I remember a friend once told me she loved children, but only her own.  Truly, I can relate to that.  I too can feel the same way about people.  And, sometimes I fall into the trap of finding fault with some friends.  I try not to go there with family, but it happens there too.  But, how does that improve the quality of my life?  If I’m finding fault with them, what are they thinking about me, if they’re thinking anything at all?  I want to simply enjoy my relationships, even those casual ones that come from interacting with people who are working to help me with all my different projects and errands.  I want to like and to appreciate everyone.  I know that isn’t feasible but I can make an effort. 

One of my daily readings talks about “affability.”  It says it’s not a trait most pay attention to but when it’s missing, it’s always noticeable.  I like to be affable.  I like to notice people, learn their names, and be kind to them, even if it’s only in a small interaction.  I have found one way to appreciate people is to simply accept them for the way they are, not to judge, not to have expectations, especially expectations about which they have no knowledge.  So, every day, I remind myself, I accept people as they are and celebrate their relationships with me.   And, I hope that’s how they are thinking about me, if they’re thinking about me at all.

Relationships

Affirmation:   My friends bless my life and I treasure their relationships with me and hold them in my daily prayers.

Relationships can be a tricky thing.  I think most of our problems and issues relate to our relationships.  There have certainly been a million books about them and how to improve them or deal with them, or understand them.  How do you do with your relationships?  Are you more at ease with strangers than in your family circle? 

I’ve been married a long time, almost 43 years at this writing.  Every so often, my husband, Sandy, speaks about his “good friend” and then he gives me a name.  I cannot tell you how many times I have not had a clue who the person is that he has mentioned.  One day, I asked him how come he thought of so many people as being his “good friend.”  He told me, he chose to think of them that way.  He chose to think about and refer to many of his acquaintances as good friends.  Sandy is an unusual man in many ways but one quality he has which I have been told by friends that their husbands do not have, is he has a huge range of friends and he does a remarkable job of keeping in touch with most of them.  I loved the idea that he also claimed them as his good friends.  Why not?  How we think about others is very often how they think about us.  I believe it must be very unusual to have someone in our lives that we dislike that likes us. 

I’ve had my struggles.  I try hard to get along with everyone but I find some to be easier than others.  I have a friend who refers to herself as a “low maintenance” friend.  It’s the truth isn’t it?  Some people we simply flow along with, others are often trying to pull us upstream.  But, after my husband’s teaching, I decided the best way for me to create more harmonious relationships was to take the time to value the people in my life and along with valuing them, offer up prayers for their well being and for that of their loved ones.  If I choose to believe my friends bless my life, they will.  If I choose to believe they are draining my energy and causing me angst that, too, will be true.  Once again, it depends on me and the way I choose to think.  I want the people in my life to be loved and I hope that they will respond in kind. 

Labeling

Affirmation:   I am lovable, I am worthy, I do well.

I recently heard a radio broadcast that talked about a study to help students improve their grades.  They had some students put the letter “A” on the top of their test paper before they began the test.  They had others put an “F.”  What do you think happened?  You probably guessed it right.  The students with the “A” did better than they even expected; the students with the “F” did worse than they expected.  I'm not saying we don't have to make an effort to do well.  I don't believe that, but I do believe we can improve our chances of success by how we visualize the results. 

Have you read about the study with water?  Yes, water.  It was part of the movie, What the Bleep.  Dr. Masaru Emoto, a Japanese scientist took jars of water and wrote words on the jars.   And, then he took  pictures of the frozen crystals of the water both before labeling and after.  Did you guess what happened?  The jar marked with “You make me sick” was muddy and ugly.  The jar marked “love and gratitude” was bright and clear and shiny. 

So, I practice labeling my jar, me.  What happens when I label myself?  I like to think, I am creating within me, the same effect that the words had on the water or on the student who put the “A” on the test paper. 

Have you heard the phrase, “Act the way you want to be and soon you’ll be the way you act?”  How do you think you get there?  It has to begin with our thought process.  We must believe in ourselves.  We must!  It all begins with how we think.  World peace depends on me.  It depends on how I see myself and how I then relate to the world.  If I can believe in myself, see myself as lovable, worthy and doing well, I will extend that love and kindness to all those whose lives touch mine and from there, blessings will be bestowed of which I know not, but I believe will make the world a gentler place.

What thoughts are you holding in your mind and heart today?  Let them be soft, kind, and centered on love and compassion.