Year End Review

Affirmation:  I examine the past with an eye on my best future.
I must admit I have a terrible memory when it comes to events of the past.  I never remembered much about my childhood.  Then my children grew into adulthood and I couldn't remember a great deal of their childhood.  It's just not the way my  mind works.  Oh, attach a significant emotional reaction to something and I can remember instantly.  Like, holding my oldest daughter's hand as we walked together to her pre-school.  Or, when my youngest crawled into bed with me early in the morning to hug for a while before she went off to school.  My son always has a project.  He always has had a project and I can clearly remember every one of them because of the excitement he generated as he took them on. 
For me, it seems very important to review the past.  It's probably why I keep a journal and a little pocket calendar where I write the day's past events.  It reminds me of looking in the rear view mirror of the car before changing lanes, or simply to be aware of what's going on around me. 
I have a monthly and a yearly practice of asking myself 10 questions that I feel will improve the quality of my life going forward.  I gathered these several years ago from a newspaper article by Sharon Randal from Henderson, Nevada.
1. What was the hardest thing I had to do this year?
2. What was the most fun?
3. What were the milestones?
4. What was my biggest accomplishment?
5. What's something I wanted to do but didn't?
6. What was my biggest surprise?
7. What was the best thing I did for another?
8. What was something I worried about that I don't worry about now?
9. What made me proud?
10. Describe a moment I want to remember.
I feel the only reason to review the past, is to find a way to live better in the future.  Look it over, learn the lesson and then let it go.  The last part may be the hardest lesson of all.

New Years Intention

It's almost the new year.  Instead of a resolution, I set an intention.  It's more effective and less intimidating.  I find it helpful when being introspective to have a list of words to which I can refer.  Since we're working on positive affirmations I thought I'd share the list I have used for several yoga retreats I've facilitated.  It's expanded with each sharing.  Please feel free to add your own.

Accomplished, Faithful, Hopeful, Humble, Empowering, Grateful, Connected, Integrated, Joyful, Direct, Discerning, Loving, Capable, Sense of Humor, Enlightened, Compassionate, Influential, Dedicated, Delightful, Dependable, Diligent, Devoted, Learner, Energized, Imaginative, Improver, Attentive, Daring, Facilitator, Family Oriented, Accepting, Free, Fun, Inventive, Laughs Easily, Aware, Sensitive, Tender, Honest, Articulate, Artistic, Courageous, Inquisitive, Instructor, Passionate, Sexy, Sensual, Present, Grace Filled, Careful, Beautiful, Healthy, Observing, Patient, Unique, Preserving, Vulnerable, Radiant, Refined, Adventurer, Satisfied, Educated, Calm, Content, Peaceful, Open-Minded, Transformative, Serene, Truthful, Perfect, Spontaneous, Thoughtful, Creative, Experienced, Leader, Teacher, Guide, Encouraging, Seeker, Trustworthy, Happy, Abundant, Planner, Visionary, Gentle, Soft, Triumphant, Understanding, Uplifting, Supportive, Prosperous, Contributor, Discoverer, Nurturing, Graceful, Glowing, Hearty, Hardy, Hottie, Playful, Fulfilled, Forgiving, Non-Judgemental, Non-Grasping, Chocolate-Filled, Dreamer, Questioning, Optimistic.

I know some are adjectives and some are nouns.  It shouldn't matter, use them anyway that works for you. 

So, take a few quiet minutes and re-read the words.  You are looking for words that stir an emotion in you.  Don't over analyze it.  Circle the ones that jump out at you.  Pick three or four from your list and write them down.  You can do this as many times as you like.  Let the sentence be a statement of how you want to perceive your life.  Write it in the present tense.  See how it sounds, see if it truly resonates with you.  Sometimes it's the sentences we have trouble saying to ourselves that's the most effective but for this exercise, just see if you can find a few words that make you feel positive about your life.
For example:  I am an accomplished, faithfilled, optimistic dreamer or I live a life filled with compassion, gratitude and peace.

Please share your new intention if you create one that you suits you.

Smiling

Affirmation:  I smile early, laugh daily and dance often.
It's the day after Christmas.  I am very blessed because most of my family lives close by and we get to spend the holiday together.  I am also exhausted and feeling a little let down.  Not only that, but we now have 6 inches of snow outside and so, for those of us who live in the South, the world has stopped.  My husband was due to take his mother home today.  She has been here for a week.  I had plans to go to Mass and to run a few errands and to relish my time alone.  Perhaps, this affirmation should be the one about being flexible?  But, what I'm looking for here is a way to pick up my spirits.  I know I can suffer from holiday let-down and today it feels very present.   I read many years ago, that you can fool your body into feeling better by smiling. So, there are mornings I sit and journal with a smile on my face.  If I happen to look up and see myself in a mirror, that silly grin on my face improves my spirits,  Also, there's a phenomena out there called "Laughing Yoga."  Look it up on the Internet if you haven't seen it before.  So, on mornings like this, or days like this, I am smiling.  It hasn't kicked in yet but I'm sure it will, perhaps after I have a strong cup of tea and find my favorite book and take some quiet time to count my blessings, again.

Beginning the Journey

How's your self-talk going?  You know, all those things you say to yourself throughout your day.  Sometimes, you're having the conversation when you're alone.  Sometimes, you're having the conversation when you're with others and you're not feeling comfortable, maybe you're even feeling very uncomfortable.  What are the phrases you've adopted over the years?  "Boy, am I stupid." or "I never get it right!" or "Wow, was that lame, or what?"  This blog is about changing the things you tell yourself.  You can do it.  Anyone can do it.  Why would you want to start saying positive things to yourself?  Will it make any difference?  Join me as we go on this journey.  We'll take it one step at a time.  For today, just notice when your self-talk weakens you, makes you feel powerless, or useless.  Pay attention!  Notice.

Strengthening Faith

Affirmation:  I know by meditating on Jesus, throughout my day, I am union with the Divine; Miracles are created and without struggle my life will be transformed in ways beyond my imagination.
Advent, Christmas.  It's the time of year when we celebrate one of the most widely recognized holidays in the world.  For some, it's simply a secular holiday:  time off from work, time to be with family and friends, a time with some sort of rituals that hopefully bring comfort and peace.  But, for me, it's about the birth of my savior.  I must admit I am always full of doubt.  I am a skeptic.  I need and seek out experiences that affirm my faith as I see it and that encourage it to deepen, to strengthen.  I decided to dedicate Advent as a time to do just that.  I have made a conscious decision to invite Jesus, the Blessed Mother, my Angels and guides to join me, to stay with me, throughout my entire day.  I believe, actually, that they never leave me, it is I in my busyness, my attention to worldly activities, who leaves them.  But, for this season, and hopefully going forward, I have made a conscious effort to pray unceasingly.  What does that look like?  Well, it includes morning and evening prayers.  It includes a book I read before I journal called, In Conversation with God, and it includes taking a deep breath throughout the day and simply saying "Jesus."  It's a perfect word to go with a deep inhale and a long exhale and I feel like it brings me back to that place I so desire to be; in the presence of God.

Your Best Life

Affirmation:  My life is Joy filled, Miracles occur, Love surrounds me and permeates every aspect of my existence.
I know that there have been times in my life, that when asked how I envision my best life, it would have revolved around my body shape, how much money I had and if I had a place at the beach!  Oh, I can still obsess over my body, not so much what the shape is any longer, but how it's feeling from day to day.  I can still be concerned about my income and my outgo and, I love to be at the beach.  But, when I take the time to notice what truly makes my life richer, it has nothing to do with things.  It's all about inner peace and happiness.  It's all about my spirit.  How I feel about what's happening to me, not about what's taking place.  There will always be challenges in our lives, for as long as we live but how we perceive those challenges is what really matters. 
I'm reading Joyce Meyer's book about Power Thoughts.  She has a great story about two young men who head out to capture wolves.  They can get $500 for each wolf they bring back alive.  They don't find any and fall asleep.  When they awaken, they are surrounded by a pack of hungry, drooling wolves.  One of the young men says to the other "Hey, wake up, we're rich!"  It made me smile.  Oh sure, he was probably eaten along with his friend but I'd like to think he died happy. 
Anyway, what will it take for you to be surrounded by wolves and to still think positively?  That's the affirmation you want to create.  You want to tell yourself something that will build a fortress of beauty and resilience within.  Find that one phrase that you've been repeating to yourself, that phrase that is not serving you but injuring your spirit and re-write it.  Create it with wonderful words that resonate deeply within you.  Write it out.  Write it again and again.  Sit with it.  Let it seep deep within you and wait and notice.  One day you'll look around and you'll be amazed that your life is exactly the way you created it to be, it will be your best life.

Kind and Gracious

Affirmation:  I am kind and gracious to all people, especially those I love the most.
You'd think the second part of this affirmation isn't relevant, wouldn't you?  Of course, you're kind and gracious to the people you love the most, but is that the way it really is?  I find I often take the people I love for granted.  They seem to be the ones who take the brunt of my bad moods.  I know they'll forgive me.  Also, I have a few people in my life whom I love but who are a challenge to my intention.  I have to work extra hard to stay kind and gracious.
"Raymond" is a song by Brett Eldredge.  Have you seen it?  It truly is a wonderful tale.  He sings, "She calls me Raymond."  The fellow telling the tale is a janitor in a nursing home.  There's one lovely woman who thinks he's her son.  She is obviously suffering from Alzheimer's.  He never corrects her.  In fact, he sits with her, he does little things to care for her; he is kind and gracious to her.  It seems his goodness is simply a part of his nature.  I visit an Alzheimer's unit once a month.  I've watched the people who work in this unit.  It takes a special person to care for people with this disease.  The first time I went, I wasn't sure I'd ever go back.  I cry when I watch this video.  I think it gives me great solace that there are people like "Raymond" in the world.  It's a wonderful example of unselfish caring.  I know it's just a song but he represents all those people out there that care for those who cannot care for themselves and there are many, many amazing caregivers.  I wonder if they need an affirmation to remind them to be kind and gracious or if it's simply a part of their demeanor, like the man portrayed in the video?

Audacioius

Affirmation: I am audacious.  I believe I have special gifts to share with the world.  I say "Yes, I Can."
The first time the word audacious became part of my awareness was when I studied Julia Cameron's, The Artist's Way.  She talks about how sometimes the only difference between a successful something and an unsuccessful something is all about how audacious the creator is.  Right after that chapter, I remember happening upon an art exhibit all made out of human hair.  It was a gallery exhibit, a private exhibition!  I found it repulsive but someone had decided it was art and had sponsored this artist.  That's when I fully realized what it meant to be audacious.  Oh, it doesn't have to be art.  It can simply be about life: taking a chance, stepping outside of our comfort zone.  I'm sure you have examples that come to mind.  How about some actors, comediennes or singers?  What about some of our politicians?  Oh, yea, audacious. 
So, it's easy for me to stay small.  It's easy to believe I'm just another human on this planet of billions but that doesn't do anything for me or for anyone else.  There's a wonderful poem by Marianne Williamson, called "Our Deepest Fear" about letting our light shine.  She says if we hide it, it helps no one and "if we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."
So, I decided to be audacious.  I am sure several in my circle would tell you it didn't take much to push me to that place, but the truth is, it took a conscious decision.  I am getting older.  Life is going faster.  I don't want to die or be dying and have too many regrets.  If I tell myself, I am audacious, I will try things I don't believe I can do.  I will make life a great adventure, instead of letting it be mundane.  Yes, I Can.  Yes, I Will.  How about you?  Anything you've thought about putting out into the world?  Go for it!  Yes, You Can!

Pain & Suffering

Affirmation:  I have Miracles in my mouth.
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.  These are words from my husband.  I believe they are Buddhist in origin but he was the one to share this concept with me.
Right now we are in the second week of Advent, in case some of you haven't noticed that it's the Christmas season.  Christmas!  What emotions does that word stir in you?  I must admit, many times throughout the season, the one emotion I feel is panic.  But, I love the season.  I love the music, I love decorating the house (It looks so warm and inviting with the tree and the lights.), I love sharing stories via cards; I love buying gifts for my family and friends, I love the opportunity to give to some who are less fortunate than I.  I love the cold, because I snuggle in, wrap up, eat more soup.  I love preparing for the miracle of the season, Christmas day.
But, when I talk to others, the word "hate" has come up quite a lot with regard to this time of the year.  What do you think?  Is it OK to recognize that you hate something, to own that?  Is that different from dwelling on it, letting it affect your spirit, your whole being?  I wonder?  You don't want to disregard how you feel about something but is it healthier, once you recognize it, to reframe it to something more positive?  And then, how do you do that?  What if this has been a horrible time for you in your life?  I'm sure you can all think of difficult experiences that have taken place at certain times of the year and you carry that in your memories and your cells.  But, can one turn that around?  Can you go from acknowledging the pain but eliminating the suffering?  How would one do that? 
What if every day you found one thing that brought you joy, one small thing and you let yourself absorb it?  If you could recognize the blessings that can come at this time, would you begin to feel better about the season?  If you felt better, would the suffering be less?  If you find the blessings, would that soften your heart towards that day of hope that is coming, very very soon? May you have a joy filled, blessed Advent and a miraculous Christmas.

Body Image

Affirmation:  I Love My Body.
Can you say it?  Can you believe it?  I must admit it's quite a challenge.  Recently, someone asked me if I liked my body.  I said "no."  Afterwards, I was so disappointed.  Here I've been affirming it for months but my gut reaction to the question  in no way reflected my goal. Not only am I am integral part of the American society with all the hang-ups presented to us through the media about the female image, I have also had quite a bit of pain, not to mention, cancer, throughout the years.  After talking to my chiropractor and re-evaluating how I visualized my body, I decided it was time to change my thinking and so, I came up with the above affirmation.  Oh, there's much more to it.  I tell myself I am strong, resilient, flexible, powerful.  Any words that affirm this body  in a positive light.  When I took the time to closely examine how I could feel about my body, I realized I was only focusing on the negative and had totally neglected the positive aspects; like the fact that most of my body does not hurt, or that I have produced the miracle of three healthy children.  My body is a miracle unto itself.  I understand so little of how it operates but it does; most of it in good working order, miraculously. So, I am making a very conscious effort to value my body, to believe in its ability to heal itself, to be strong and healthy.  I believe it begins by loving it.

Time

Affirmation: Time is my friend. 
Many years ago, I was waiting in a shop for service.  There was an older gentleman also waiting.  When the time came for the next customer, he motioned for me to go ahead of him.  I protested, even though I was in a hurry.  He insisted.  Then he said to me, "Time is my friend."  This was my first affirmation and I have been writing it, reading it and saying it to myself ever since I began practicing positive affirmations.  I must say, it is one of my most challenging.  I try to live in "divine time," as one of my friends calls it.  You know, where you simply go through your day knowing that everything will simply fall into place, not worrying about when I leave, when I arrive, if I'm late or early, but that's a very rare event.  Most of the time I am struggling with getting it all in.  I want more time!  As I get older, I am finding time goes faster and faster.  Have you had that experience?  I mean, here it is the Christmas season and I can't imagine where this year has gone.  I heard a poem once:  I woke up, turned my head and when I looked back, it was 30 years later.  I want more time, today and forever. 
I have another friend who lost her daughter to cancer and whose husband is now ill. One day she told me she knew we all had to die; she just didn't expect life to go so fast.  We cried!  How do you make peace with that?  I know time is a man made tool.  I know there are all kinds of theories about how it doesn't really exist; that it's suppose to be more like a layer cake, once field lying over another.  I use to tell people "Time is not my friend."  I read once, where a man from a tribe in a foreign land told an American: "You have so many watches, but no time.  We have no watches, but plenty of time."  That's how I want to feel, like I always have plenty of time.  I want to treasure each moment.  I don't want to worry and rush about.  I don't want to think about tomorrow, when I haven't even gotten out of bed, today.  I hope that by believing time is my friend, life will be easier, richer, more joyful.  How do you make peace with time?  Can part of it be believing this life is not going to end, we will live on in another dimension, maybe one of those layers the physicists write about.  What about you?  Is time your friend or your enemy? What do you tell yourself?

Gratitude

Affirmation:  I am filled with hope, curiosity, and awe, a sense of adventure, gratitude and compassion.  Some qualities are emotional and some are traits.  Traits need to be developed and cultivated.  I think the ones in this affirmation represents the best of traits, the ones that I am working on cultivating.  This Thanksgiving was a great time to practice the trait of gratitude.  I believe most of us probably looked at our lives this weekend and truly felt a sense of gratitude for all we have.  A friend of mine recently returned from a volunteer trip to Ecuador.  The first thing she emailed to me was how grateful she was to be living in the United States.  But what about other days?  How often do you take the time to look at your everyday life and find the things you can be grateful for?  I have one friend who lists three things every evening before bedtime that she is grateful for.  I believe if we take the time to be thankful on a regular basis for even the small things, eventually we will be able to be thankful for all of our life experiences even the ones that at first may seem more like trials.  At least that's my hope.
"When it gets dark enough, you can see the stars."  said Charles A. Beard

Contentment

Affirmation:  I am content. 
Well, there's one I need help with.  It seems to be in my nature to look at what's next.  Do you think it has anything to do with our society, with advertising?  Or, is it simply most people's nature to be looking for more?  Sarah Susanka asks: "How do you know when it's enough?"  I guess for me, that means how do I know I've got enough, done enough, seen enough?  Content.  How do you develop that quality? 
I visited an adult retirement community this morning.  It's a very nice facility.  My mom lives in the independent living section.  I bring communion to both her building and the area that has assisted living and the Alzheimer's unit.  I must admit I find it unsetltling.  I wonder what my old age will be like, if I have one.  For me, it truly tests my affirmation to let go of fear and to live in Faith.  There are many different personalities and I get to meet many of them.  But, one woman in particular captured my attention and admiration this day.  She wasn't going anywhere for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday but she wasn't the least bit angry or upset about it.  She told me she was very content with the way things are for her.  I asked her if she had a secret.  How did she maintain her positive attitude?  Would I be like her or would I be annoyed that my family had deserted me?  If there was a secret, I wanted to learn it.  She told me she placed her faith in God.  She believed in His care for her; that He loved her and let all the rest go.  "I am content."  Every time I visit, I learn something I am sure will support me through this journey we call life.  Today I was gifted with the vision of someone who has found peace through her faith.  Peace!

Spiritual Being

Affirmation:  I am a spiritual being having a human experience!
Recently someone mentioned the Oprah segment about "John of God."  I've been Tevoing Oprah's last season because I thought she might have some really interesting segments and so I was able to go back and watch the program about this man who appears to be a healer.  He's from Brazil.  I use the word "appears" because it was really very different from any experience I've ever had.  It was certainly completely removed from the parameters of Western medicine.  I've heard other stories about healers.  I'm sure you have too.  But, I'd never watched something like this.  If you get a chance, check it out.  I think she also has an article about it in this month's magazine.  The thing that made the greatest impression on me was what the visiting American physician said at the end.  He spoke about it being a "life changing experience" for him.  He said after being with John of God (a name he does not use for himself) he believes we are so much more than we appear.  We are all very special.  We are all amazing beings, capable of wondrous things and there is so much we don't understand and haven't even touched the surface of.  I believe that too.  Affirmation:  "I am a spiritual being having a human experience!"  What would be different for you if you believed that?  Would you be more open to unexplained phenomena, to miracles, to a Higher Power's influence?  Would it improve the quality of your life?  Do you think we are all capable of healings?  Do you think they happens everyday and we just don't recognize them?

Change

Affirmation:  I embrace change. 
Recently a group of friends and I had the opportunity to discuss change.  How do we deal with it?  What are our strategies?  Do we generally like it or are we resistant to it?  Of course, by the simple fact that we all like to have these esoteric type of discussions, you might be led to believe that we all embraced change at every opportunity.  Well, while we do seem to have more of a tendency to be open to new experiences than maybe some others, we found that we deal with changes differently, depending on what type of change it is.  I am sure you realize there are small changes in our lives and big changes; there are also changes we initiate and changes that are forced upon us.  Do you think it helps a person to examine their general reaction to change in case one is faced with something unexpected?  I decided that for the next few weeks, I would simply notice how I respond to change.  I feel we are faced with nothing but change; every moment is different than the last one.  Change is actually a constant in our lives; just look in the mirror, there is the proof.  Today, I've noticed that not one thing has gone according to my "plan."  So it's a perfect opportunity to see how I respond to making changes. Actually, it's been a great day!  I headed out to visit a friend in the hospital.  She wasn't in her room.  She was having a treatment done that would take several hours, so I decided to run an errand for my daughter.  I called her and she invited me to join her and her brother and his wife for their lunch hour.  Great!  The rest of the day has been filled with the same type of rescheduling but it's all been really nice.  So, I guess for today, I'm fairly flexible with respect to change, I'm adaptable, and really, all that matters is today.  Don't you think?

Celebrating

Affirmation:  I celebrate my accomplishments and my disappointments.
One of my affirmations used to be: I celebrate my accomplishments and let go of my disappointments.  It sounds good, don't you think?  But, then I went to a lecture about Enneagrams.   I found that I was someone who mainly looked at the upside of things.  I didn't like focusing on the things that weren't too pleasant.  It didn't take long to realize how right they were.  I remember thinking how lucky I was that the radiation treatments I received for breast cancer were taking place in the spring.  Why, you might ask?  Well, I live in a part of the country that is breathtakingly beautiful during the spring.  The Dogwood trees alone would be enough to decorate the landscape but we also have Red buds and Azaleas and Forsythia and bulbs galore.  It has never ceased to amaze me how beautiful it is here in the Spring.  I mentioned this to someone once, about being glad my drive to radiation was during the Spring.  They told me they thought I'd find a reason to be grateful for the drive regardless of the season.  Oh, yes, that's my mode: find a way to give things a positive spin.  I guess that's why this blog is called Creating Positive Affirmations.  But, after that workshop, I changed my affirmation.  Now I write: I celebrate my accomplishments and my disappointments.  I don't want to miss or dismiss any of my life.  I want to embrace all the experiences.  I mean, all of them have had a direct impact on who I am, what I value and what I want the future to be like.  Without valuing the disappointments, how will I fully appreciate the accomplishments?

Sexy

Affirmation:  I am Sexy.
This week there was an article in USA Today that talked about a study done to help women increase their sexual desire.  Yes, I know, many of you are probably asking who would even want to have an increase in desire; just leave me alone!  But, obviously, there are many many women, because this study involved several hundred of them.  As in most studies there was a control group.  This group was told they were taking a "magic" elixir which would do all they would hope it would do.  It was a placebo.  Can you guess what happened?  Most of these women had a definite increase in their level of desire.  This study took place over several months and their levels did not decrease.  I don't know if they were ever told it was a placebo and for all I know they are all still out there enjoying themselves without knowing  it's all in their minds.  What else is just in our minds?  What else can we change to our benefit by simply believing it is true?  That's the purpose and secret of positive affirmations; say it as if it already is; believe it as if it's already true.  Fake it until you make it!  It's without a doubt a great way to live your life.  Sexy?  Well, if that's one of your intentions, go for it.  If hundreds of women can feel that way by simply taking a sugar pill, certainly it's available to those of us who simply choose to believe it to be true.

Love

Affirmation:  (1) My life is Joy filled, Miracles occur, Love surrounds me and permeates every aspect of my existence.  (2) I am fully open to love, both human and divine.
Actually, this title could be "Loving Oneself."  How many women do you know who would say they love themselves?  It seems to me, that most women have a lot of difficultly valuing themselves.  Most of the discussions I have with my friends are about ways to increase our self esteems especially as we grow older.  In one of the books I read the author said she was great at giving out love, but realized quite late in life, that she didn't readily accept love.  I remember once saying to a friend that when I received compliments, affection from people who liked me, I had a tendency to discount the comment.  Her tongue-in-cheek response was, "Sure, don't take to heart the things people say who love you.  It's much better to listen to those who don't like you."  And, then there was the comment about how my reaction was like a slap in the face to the person talking to me.  It was like saying, "You are so stupid!  What do you know?"  So, those two comments offered me a lot to think about.  I decided it was OK, healthy to accept the love offered to me.  I am so lucky to have people in my life who do love me.  And, then too, I realized I also have beings not of this world who must love me.  I am sure my deceased father and grandparents love me.  I am sure there are other guides and Angels who deeply love me.  And, my faith tells me that God loves me, that God is love.  So, I have focused several of my affirmations around self-love.  (1) My life is Joy filled, Miracles occur, Love surrounds me and permeates every aspect of my existence.  (2) I am fully open to love, both human and divine.  The truth is, until I full accept the love that is available to me, I will never be able to love the way I really want to: without judgement, unconditionally and non-grasping.

Resilience

Affirmation:  I invite God's divine healing light into my mind, body and spirit; creating a state of total well being.
Several months ago, I visited my Chiropractor and our discussion turned to healing one's self. She spoke to me about how the beliefs we have concerning our health have a direct impact on our state of well being, or ill being.  She and her assistant have a practice they use to make life changes.  She explained that not only did she find a phrase or sentence to affirm the change, but they also took time to visualize it.  I left with a new found sense of power.  I had been struggling for years with a sore hip and here I was being told, I could change that by thinking differently about it.  I've been practicing affirmations for years but truth to tell, I never thought about re-framing the ache in my hip.  Then, I was led to re-read John Sarno's book: Healing Back Pain.  There it was again, the same message.  How you think about your body, your health, has a direct effect on its state.  At one point in the book, he says that you either believe the theory or you embrace it simply because you're so desperate for relief.  I happen to fall into the first category. I know one must be careful believing we are fully responsible for everything that happens to us. It can lead to a blame the victim mentality. But, I choose to think I am responsible for almost everything that happens to me.  However, sometimes forces beyond our control overcome our best intentions. It makes me feel better.  Then, just the other day, I read where people who think of themselves as resilient have fewer health problems.  I wonder if they have fewer problems all together?  But, the message was clear.  How you think has a direct impact on how you feel.  Affirmation:  "I invite God's divine healing light into my mind, body and spirit; creating a state of total well being."  If that's too long, try this one:  "I will not allow my brain to cause my body pain."

Categories

Affirmations can be divided into categories. How do you see your life? Do you think of it in terms of God, family and work? Maybe you think of it in terms of relationships, career and social? How about spiritual, physical and material? Some days, I divide my life into mind, body and spirit. Yes, some days. But however I divide up the affirmations, one aspect is always true. They are all about me. Most of my affirmations begin with the word "I." Even when the focus is about relationships, they revolve around what I am trying to affirm with regard to MY relationships. Perhaps, it's about valuing my friends, loving a difficult person, listening compassionately or giving generously of my time and talent. Maybe the affirmation is all about love: "I love unconditionally, non-judgmentally and non-graspingly."  Yes, I'm working on improving the quality of my relationships but the focus is on me. And, isn't that OK? It begins with me. If I can change myself for the better, won't that help others? If you did the same thing, how would that change the world or at least your world?

Faith or Fear

Affirmation:  I let go of fear, anxiety and shame.
I recall the first time I heard the phrase; Faith or fear.  It was in a sermon at a church I was visiting.  It was one of those moments when I felt the light go on.  I knew exactly what he was talking about.  I had a choice.  How was I going to live my life?  Well, I decided right then and there, I was not going to have my life's choices dictated by fear.  And, I have been deciding that every day, ever since.  I have had to make it a meditation.  Deciding was the easy part; making the choice, putting it into practice, well, that's a whole other story.  I am a cancer survivor.  One of my physicians graciously told me that the cancer wasn't anything I did or didn't do; it was a "random act of violence."  In one way, that gave me a lot of comfort.  I didn't need to find blame either within or without but it meant that I was vulnerable to the whims of the world and with that thought, I found I felt unsafe.  It left me fearful.  I wondered what else was going on inside my body that I was totally unaware of?  And, I was afraid.  Once again, I was faced with finding a way to live with Faith and to let go of the fear.  That's where my original affirmation about fear came from:  "I let go of fear, anxiety and shame."  It's evolved over the years.  I not only focus on the letting go of those emotions that don't serve me; I now focus on strengthening my Faith.  I have several affirmations that I say to increase my sense of well-being; to make me believe that no matter what is happening, I am alright because my Faith is strong and helping me stay in a good place.

Negatives

When creating an affirmation avoid the word "not."  Why?  It won't work to your benefit; it may even work to your detriment.  There are some phrases you can use instead of enlisting the negative.  For example:  "I release" or "I let go of."  Two of my affirmations using those phrases are:  "I let go of fear, anxiety and shame." and "I release myself from my childhood limitations."  I'm sure you can come up with some others.  Give it a try.  It's simply more effective than saying: "I will not let fear, anxiety and shame influence my life."  Can you hear the difference?  Can you feel the difference?  What are some things in your life you'd like to let go of, or release?  Make a list, choose one or two that seem the most relevant and give it a try.  Write them down, write them every day, post them on your bathroom mirror, by your doorway, on your computer and wait!  Wait for the conscious to create your desires in your unconscious and into your life.

Emotions

When creating an affirmation, it is helpful to use words that resonate deeply with you.  Try out some of the words; see if they cause a visceral reaction.  I sometimes write out the affirmation without too much thought and then take time to fine tune it.  Recently, I've been working on the concept of staying connected to the Divine.  I believe that we are spirit having a human experience and that with awareness and quiet, we can connect to God's Divine Grace.  You can define that any way you like.  But, I believe it's available to us and can lead us to a peace beyond that of human comprehension.  So, one of my affirmations is: "When I pray and meditate, I enter into union with the Divine; miracles are created and without struggle, manifest.  I love the words: Divine, miracles and without struggle."  When I hear them, I think "hope."  I have found that I now spend more time in prayer, more time in silence, Miracles?  Oh, yes, they have manifested.  Is it because I am paying more attention, waiting for them to appear or is it because they have multiplied because of my time spent with Spirit?  Do I really care why? Would you?

Definition

What exactly is an affirmation?  What does it look like?  How should it sound?  What phrases work, which ones don't?  An affirmation is a statement that affirms, make firm, that which you believe.  You can have positive or negative affirmations.  Most of us have lived our lives telling ourselves about our faults.  We also rarely hesitate to tell others about our faults.  For example, someone may compliment your outfit.  What is your normal response?  Or perhaps, they tell you what a wonderful job you did on a project. What do you say when that happens?  Can you imagine saying something like: "Thank you, I did do a great job, didn't I?"  Well, certainly you don't have to say it out loud, but perhaps you could start saying it to yourself  and you don't need to wait for someone to compliment you, you can begin saying it right now.  " I really do a great job."  For today, find one thing you want to feel good about and form a very short positive statement complimenting yourself.  Write it down anywhere you like and carry it with you.  Say it to yourself a few times each day and see what develops.  Remember, the first change takes place in the spirit, then in the mind and the last place to accept  the new reality, is the body.

Noticing

Today is your day to simply NOTICE.  To watch your self-talk and to make note of what you're telling yourself.  It's also helpful to notice your emotional state.  Sometimes, our emotions kick in and we're not even aware of why.  What just happened that you reacted to and what are you saying to yourself at that moment?  What are you telling yourself when you've moved away from the situation?
Recently, I went for my first training session with a young man at my gym.  He seemed to be in quite a hurry.  He called me "sweetie" and at the end of a half hour, he indicated that we were done.  That was all I got for "free."  He needed "to make a living."  I didn't expect the session to be free.  I actually thought I was buying an hour of time to fine-tune my workout.  When he walked away, I couldn't tell you what I was feeling, but I knew what had just taken place didn't feel good.  I waited a while and noticed it was my inclination to just let the whole episode go.  Why would I do that?  Because my self-talk over the years has been that I don't like conflict.  I have also told myself that, I am not an assertive person.  Oh, yes, there have been many many incidents when I felt almost abused, but I didn't fully recognize it at the moment and I didn't feel empowered enough to stand up for myself.  One of my affirmations is: "I stand in my power."  Another is:  "I am worthy, I am valuable, I am lovable."  So, this time, I recognized that I had been badly treated and since I now tell myself that I am powerful and worthy, I went and spoke to him.  We resolved the issue which revolved around some mis-communication and he won't be calling me "sweetie" any longer.